


You Have no Idea

by MsAnimeManga4ever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Mute Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsAnimeManga4ever/pseuds/MsAnimeManga4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester was not a man of many words. Actually, he wasn’t a man of any words at all. When the phrase ‘life is difficult’, or any variation is stated, the term ‘you have no idea’ comes to mind. Quite often he’s reminded of the struggle that was high school while being mute. He went to a campus that was composed of multiple buildings, each for a different set of grades. This took away the opportunity of new beginnings and available options-this includes social and educational-that is generally lent when changing school levels. So for quite a large amount of years he was left to deal with the same crowd of people. Of those being kids that refused to accept the fact that just because you can’t talk doesn’t keep you from being a normal human being. It was his junior year that this changed. All due to the odd boy that moved into town, having skipped a grade, making him a different age from the others just as Dean, who had been held back, which was a blessing in itself.

 

Green met red at the sound of his alarm, and Dean let it continue in favor of staring at the ceiling. He heaved a sigh before reaching for his phone to shut the incessant sound off. After showering and getting dressed he trudged back down the hall to the kitchen, ruffling Sam’s hair in greeting as he walked by him, and stopping to kiss his mother on the cheek and to collect his breakfast. He claimed his usual seat at the table and dug in, absently chewing his eggs.  
"Something the matter Dean?" His mother asked. Dean shook his head.  
""Just tired.""  
"Bet he stayed up too late having fun with himself," Sam snickered.  
Dean rolled his eyes, and Mary sighed at her younger son's new favorite way to crack jokes at his brother’s expense. Dean had gone through his stage of unnecessarily crude humor, but used it less, what with the lack of a target.  
""Bitch.""  
"Jerk."  
"Will you boys just eat your breakfast? If you don’t appreciate it I’ll stop making bacon," Mary chided good-naturedly.  
The brothers gasped and grabbed their bacon, stuffing the precious food into their mouths. Once his hands were free and Sam was looking in his direction, Dean started signing again.  
""Careful Sammy; if you don’t eat enough you’ll stay scrawny forever."" He waggled his eyebrows mockingly. ""And if you keep on growing you’ll be so stretched out you might as well be Laffy Taffy.""  
Sam scoffed. "Shut up Dean. At least I know I’m going to be taller than you even though you’re older." Sam smirked "How do you think it’ll feel to be the little brother?"  
Dean scowled ""Oh yeah! Well you’re…the little…little brother. Ha!""  
Knowing his comeback was terrible, he returned to his breakfast, avoiding the triumphant look on the other boys face.  
"Sometimes it’s best to just bow out gracefully hon."  
Dean’s face heated at his mother’s comment, and Sam did a victory dance on his way to the sink.  
"Hurry up dude, I gotta get to school early."  
With that he bounded up the steps to get his bag. Shortly after Sam came back down, gave his mom a hug-bidding her goodbye-and went outside to Dean’s car, plucking his keys from the bowl as he walked to wait for him there.  
"Leave your dishes," Mary said when Dean stood up. "He’s unbearable when he’s impatient."  
Dean grinned and gave his mom a hug before picking his bag up from out of an empty chair and going outside.  
"Finally, took you long enough," Sam mumbled.  
Dean flicked towards his head in response before backing out of the driveway.

 

Sam dashed out the car as soon as Dean parked in the student lot. Dean scowled, watching him go. Well, have a good day then, he thought. He sighed, unsure of what to do. Because of Sam he was stuck at school a half hour earlier than usual. Maybe Benny-the head cook in the cafeteria-would have a cookie or two to spare. And coffee if he was lucky. So he made his way over to his building.

 

As he passed by the office he waved at the secretary Ms. Bradbury.  
"Dean!" she shouted, her voice muffled behind the glass.  
He stopped and cocked his head. She gestured for him to come in.  
He sighed and walked in, shrugging his shoulders to say ‘what?’.  
"I have a favor to ask, if you’re not here for anything. I’m assuming you’re just here cause Sam had to come early."  
Dean nodded.  
"Great! We’ve got a new student ya see, and I was wondering if you could walk him through his schedule?"  
Dean nodded again, albeit reluctantly.  
"Thanks Dean. I’ll get you a coffee as thanks."  
He grinned, she knew the way to him was through his stomach.  
"I’ll go get him from the counselor. Oh, and here’s his schedule."

 

Dean took a look at it while Ms. Bradbury went to get the kid.  
"Castiel, this is Dean."  
Dean looked up to see the owner of the-what was it, biblical?-name.  
"Dean, Castiel."  
Dean gave him a smile. It took some effort to look away from his eyes.  
"Thank you for showing me around."  
Dean waved away his gratitude.  
"You’ll find Dean to be a silent companion," Charlie explained.  
"That’s better for me in the long run; I’m terrible with casual conversation."  
Dean threw his head back in a silent laugh. He grabbed a pen and paper off the secretary’s desk to write something down, and handed Cas the paper.  
""With that sense of humor you may be able to make it in this place with your sanity still intact.""  
"I doubt it’s that bad."  
Dean lifted his eyebrows.  
"Or maybe it is, and I should listen to you since you obviously know more."  
Dean nodded, then stabbed his thumb towards the door. He waved to Ms. Bradbury before turning to leave.  
"Bye Dean."

 

"You seem to know Ms. Bradbury pretty well."  
Dean bit his lip. He did, but for a reason he didn’t like. The kids in this school could be mean. He stopped, and put a hand on Cas’ shoulder when he kept going. Cas turned around, tilting his head and squinting his eyes in confusion. Dean pulled out his phone and opened a new message.  
""Look Cas, I figure I should warn you, just so you’re aware. The kids at this school can be pretty nasty.""  
He handed the phone over for Cas to read. His hands were soft, and really fucking cold. Cas looked up with clear remorse in his eyes, instantly understanding what this implied.  
"Thank you for the warning Dean. I’ll keep that in mind if I’m ever approached."  
Dean nodded and pocketed the phone before he started walking again. They walked in companionable silence as Dean led Cas around the school in order of his classes. He pointed out the cafeteria, the library, the clinic, and various bathrooms that would be along his route as well. They finished in time to go to class.  
"Thank you Dean."  
Dean shook his head, smiling. He took out and typed on his phone.  
""I’ll see you later Cas.""  
With a wave they parted ways to head to their respective classrooms.

 

When Dean walked through the door he saw a cup of coffee with a sticky note. It had his name on it. He grinned, Charlie had pulled through. He settled into his usual seat by a window and stared longingly outside, waiting for the other students to file in and class to start. The sooner it started the sooner he’d get to the end of the day.

 

It wasn’t until lunch that Cas saw Dean again. He was standing in the cafeteria, trying not to stick out like a sore thumb while seeing if he could find a girl named Meg from one of his classes. She seemed the type that he should be weary of, but she was nice to him, so he figured he would just proceed with caution and see if she was someone he could be friends with. But his plans were immediately derailed when he noticed Dean slip out the doors with his lunch. Curios, he followed Dean back into the building their grade’s classes were held in and to the office he met him in before. No wonder he and Ms. Bradbury seemed so close. He watched-regretful for him that he had to resort to this-Dean comfortably sit himself at the table in the corner with a grin directed in Ms. Bradbury’s direction. Castiel stood there for a moment, contemplating if he should go in. On one hand, Dean had been really nice and he had enjoyed himself while he was given a tour of the school. But on the other hand Dean could have just been being polite. Either way Cas needed to eat, and this was the closest area. When he walked into the office Ms. Bradbury gave him a knowing look, having seen him through the glass. He pursed his lips at her in response before turning to Dean.

  
"Mind if I sit with you?"  
There was a trick of the light that made it look like his eyes lit up for a second before Dean gestured to the other three seats. Cas picked the seat closest to him. When he turned back around from putting his things down Dean was holding out his phone.  
""What brings you here?""  
Cas took out a notebook and pen. He didn’t want to disturb Ms. Bradbury, and he figured it would make Dean feel more comfortable if they were both writing-as if they were passing notes. He slid his lunch a little to the side, and placed the notebook between them so they both had ease of access before writing.  
"To be honest I saw you leave the cafeteria, and was curious as to where you were going. So I followed you."  
"You don’t have anyone to sit with yet?"  
"Well, I was looking for someone that treated me nicely, but I didn’t exactly have an invitation, so I figure I won’t be missed."  
"Who was it?"  
"Meg Masters. Should I run for the hills?"  
"I don’t really know much about her. She keeps to herself mostly. So you might be okay, but just be careful."  
"That’s the approach I decided."  
Cas smiled at Dean and thanked him silently for his concern. He returned it, and Castiel’s heart pounded. His smile was a lot different than his grin (Which was probably shown more). It was soft, the kind that warmed you to your core. Suddenly Dean looked down and fiddled with his cheeseburger. He resumed eating, so Cas followed suit. For the rest of their lunch they sat in comfortable silence and focused on eating. Cas got up to throw away their trash, and when he came back the notebook was pointed toward his seat and Dean was studiously looking toards the wall.  
"If there’s anything your teachers are making you catch up on I could help you. They all teach the same thing."  
Dean stood up and gestured to the clock at Castiel’s confused expression. Lunch was over. He grabbed his bag and went for the door, walking backwards so he could wave goodbye. He had his hand on the handle when Cas stopped him.  
"Wait!"  
Dean looked at him expectantly.  
"I can’t exactly take you up on your offer without your number. You know, considering we don’t have any classes together."  
Dean grinned and walked back over to write a number in the notebook Cas hadn’t put away yet.  
"Later Cas."  
With that he walked out into the hall. Ms. Bradbury whistled.  
"That was smooth."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story Cas has autism, and I just wanted to say that while it is dwelled on in this chapter it won't be in future ones. It's not something I intend to put major focus on (I'm not trying to get a medal for representation). I won't always be putting in paragraph long explanations about it. It's just something that's going to be a part of him, something that's always there, just like Dean and being mute. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my decision as it is not my intention.

 Dean had an apparent happy buzz when Sam slipped into the car.

"Spill."

""What are you talking about?""

"You're never this happy after school, so something must have happened."

Dean just shrugged and put his hand on the gear shift.

"Oh no you don't."

Sam hastily put his hand over top of Dean's and slid his thumb over the button, effectively stopping Dean from dropping the conversation. Dean glared at him.

"We're not getting home until you tell me. Please Dean, I'm anxious to know what's making my big brother smile like the lead actress in a romance movie."

Dean scoffed and pulled his hand out from under Sam's. His hands flew furiously.

""I aint no chick from a rom-com!""

Sam smiled condescendingly. 

"Of course not."

""You're supposed to respect your elders.""

"Sure thing old man. Or should I call you gramps?"

""Ha, ha, you're so funny."

"Yeah I know, I'm a real stand-up guy." He laughed. "Get it?"

Dean rolled his eyes.

""Do everyone a favor and don't become a comedian.""

"Whatever, now, tell me what happened."

""Nothing, I just showed a new student around and we ate lunch together.""

Sam grinned like nobody's business.

"Tell me everything."

""Not much to tell. Ms. Bradbury asked me to help him since I wasn't doing anything. He saw me at lunch and followed to sit with me. Then I said I'd help him catch up if he needed it. He took up the offer and asked for my number for communication purposes.""

"Oh my god! So you made a friend! What's he like, what'd he do to communicate with you?"

Dean smiled down at the steering wheel, his cheeks a little red. Sam practically shouted at the sight.  

""During lunch he took out a notebook and pen for us to use.""

"Holy crap you totally like him."

Dean scoffed.  

""No I don't, the fuck did you get that idea?""

"Your face."

Dean just knocked Sam's hand out of the way and put the car in drive.

"Fine, I'll drop it."

Dean's grin screamed victory as he made his way out of the lot, but Sam looked out the window with an evil look in his eyes.  

For now, he thought.

 

Dean was doing his homework when his phone buzzed. He had a text from a number he didn't recognize, but it was obvious it was Cas. He added him to his contacts before looking at the message.  

"My English teacher is making me read an entire book and be ready to take a test on it within a week. She gave me all the quizzes they took because it's basically going to be them all mashed together. There's no way I can do all this on top of everything else. T_T"  

Dean winced in sympathy. Poor Cas was going to have a stressful couple of weeks.

"What else you gotta do?"  

He pushed his school books aside and propped up his feet on his desk, leaning back in his rolling swivel chair. Only Sam knew that the thing amused him to no end.  

"Luckily not all my teachers are that brutal. I just have to catch up on notes that weren't covered in my last school for math and science."

"Thats not too bad. Since teachers teach the same thing you can look at my notes"

"Thanks a lot, Dean."

"You need to read fahrenheit 451?"

"Yes, and it sounds interesting. I have no doubt I can finish it in time. It's just there's so much analysis I need to know like the back of my hand. I wont have the time to work through it all everyone else had."

"I can help I read it last year cause I was bored and it was in a pile of books Sammy got from the library. It kinda sucked me in and I obsessed over it for months (dont tell anyone) I know that book as well as baby"

"That's kind of impressive actually.^_^ Who is Baby?"

"My car"

"You gave your car a term of endearment?"

"Course you gotta treat your cars with love and respect"  

"I'll keep that in mind. :3"

"Haha good. Anyway you should come to my house tomorrow if you can so you can get the notes you need"

"Alright, that should be fine."

Dean's skin colored. Cas was going to come over. He looked around his room. Shit, he'd need to clean.

"Great. In the meantime get that book finished so we have time to study"

"Yes sir. :P"

"So youre the emoticon type"

"There something wrong with that? -_-"

Dean laughed silently.  

"Nope"  

It was kind of cute if he was being honest. But nobody needed to know he thought that.

"Good. :)"

Dean smiled, but glanced at his homework and sighed. As much as he didn't want the conversation to end he had homework to do. And Cas probably did too.

"As entertaining as your obsession with emojis is I should do my hw"

"I should do that too. Even though I rather keep talking to you. See you tomorrow Dean. :D"

Dean ducked his head, forced the heat on his neck to recede. Dude was pretty freaking straight forward-he'd have to get used to that.

"Later Cas"

 

With his homework finished Dean made his way down the hall to the kitchen to wait for dinner to be finished. He froze at the kitchen's threshold when he heard the front door open. Great. Things were about to get really tense and awkward. And he was going to okay Cas coming over with his mom too. He shook himself and went over to the fridge, shooting Sam what he hoped was a reassuring smile. But when he was about to open the fridge door his father strode in and (not too roughly, but not too softly either) pushed him aside so he could open it himself and grab a beer. He shut the fridge instead of holding it open for Dean.  

"Hi John," Mary said sweetly enough that he didn't notice the sadness in her voice. "How was your day?"

"Fine," he grunted. "Same as always."

But then he went into the living room instead of sitting down at the table like usual. On one hand Dean was relieved for the chance to tell his mom about Cas, on the other this meant John's day wasn't in fact fine, and dinner was going to be tense. (more than usual)

 

The Winchester family was pretty dysfunctional. John's job stressed him out and put him on edge. He didn't handle it well, and it often resulted in arguments with Mary. When Dean was in eighth grade he had a conversation with Sam about him liking boys just as much as girls. John happened to witness this conversation at the doorway of the living room. He didn't take it well, and while he was never openly hostile with Dean, he never treated him the same again. This created a greater strain on their family, but Mary wouldn't be able afford to take care of the boys and give them a comfortable home on her own, and John wouldn't properly take care of himself if he was alone. (Mary would forever live with a guilty conscience if she let that happen.) So they all stayed together under one roof.  

 

Dean grabbed a coke out of the fridge and set it on the counter before tapping his mother on the shoulder. She turned around and gave him a smile. It didn't reach her eyes. Mary was never completely happy when John was home. Dean gave her shoulder a squeeze before he started signing.  

""Can my friend Cas come over tomorrow? He's new, so I'm helping him catch up.""

Mary smiled again, and this time her happiness was full and genuine. She nodded yes.  

""Thanks mom.""

Dean happily grabbed his drink and took his place at the table.  

"Aaaaawwwww," Sam said quietly.

""Bitch.""

Sam smirked.

"Jerk."

""You said you would drop it.""

"And I did; I didn't say I would drop it for good though."

Dean dropped his head to the table.  

"Come on Sam," Mary chided. "Leave your brother alone. You should just be happy for him that he's finally made a friend his age."

Dean lifted his head, a triumphant look on his face.

""Yeah Sammy.""

Sam pouted.

"But mom! He would do the same thing if our situations were reversed." Mary opened her mouth, then shut it.

"You have a point."

Dean's eyes widened. Sam grinned.

"Hah!" Mary sighed and looked up at the ceiling.  

"You boys better not be giving your mother grief."

Dean looked down at the table and Sam tensed while John sauntered to his seat. Sam answered for the both of them.

"Yes sir."

John nodded his approval.

"I figured dinner would be ready."

Mary gave him a tense smile.

"You thought right dear."

She brought them their plates before sitting down herself.  

"Don't bother making me dinner tomorrow. I have to stay at work late. I'll buy something on the way home."

"Are you sure? I can just put it in the fridge and you can warm it up when you get home."

John shook his head.

"I'll be hungry before I get home."

"Okay." The rest of the dinner was spent in silence.

 

Dean texted Cas while he was waiting for first period to start.

"You good for coming over today?"

"Yep :) Where should I meet you?"

"In front of the office I guess."

"Alright, see you later Dean."

The bell rang and Dean slid his phone back into his pocket. He wished it was the end of the day already.

 

When he got to the office at lunch Cas was already sitting at the table, laughing with Ms. Bradbury. She turned her grin to Dean when he walked in.  

"You sure as hell are lucky Dean. Cas is quite the charmer."

Cas blushed at the compliment. Dean rolled his eyes and spotted the notebook and pen next to Cas. He grabbed it and scribbled in it before handing it to Ms. Bradbury.

""Quit acting like he's my boyfriend I just met the guy.""

"You didn't say there isn't potential though."

Dean huffed as he took the notebook from her and sat next to Cas. He blushed when he saw Cas looking at what he wrote. When Cas looked up he quickly looked away. He looked back and met Cas' eye, so he offered him a smile. Cas tucked into his lunch, seemingly unfazed, so Dean did the same. He had to admit, he was a little disappointed at the lack of reaction. At the end of lunch Cas got to the door of the office first.

"See you after school Dean."

Dean gave him a smile. It took Castiel's breath away.  

 

Afternoon classes felt even longer than they usually did. When the final bell rang Dean had to stop himself from flat out running to the office. He was leaning against the glass, hands in his pockets, trying to look anything other than nervous and fidgety (Cause he was Dean Winchester and he didn't get nervous or anything, and it's not like they were going on a date. And it's not like he thought it would be nice to go on a date with Cas. He didn't do stupid crushes, and he definitely didn't pine.) when Cas finally got to the office. He pushed himself off and nodded towards the front doors, and Cas fell into step beside him. Their shoulders brushed as they made their way to the parking lot, but neither felt the need to take a step over for space. Sam was already waiting for them at the car. He was leaning against the hood, an ever present smile on his face as he talked to a pretty blonde girl. Dean knew his little brother had a crush on someone, but he didn't know who they were. He could tell this was whom Sam had been going sappy over. He started signing as soon as Sammy looked over at the sound of their approaching footsteps.  

""Damn Sammy she's cute. You scored her yet so we get a break from your pinning?""

Sam's cheeks reddened and he scowled. The embarrassed agitation was obvious from the movement of his hands.  

""Shut up Dean! And she's not my girlfriend.""

""But you want her to be.""

The color on Sam's cheeks deepened.  

""So?""

For a moment Dean switched into big brother mode.

""Well what are ya waiting for? She seems enough into you.""

Sam's eyes widened a fraction.

""You think so?""

Dean gave him a nod and a smile he saved for his dorky brother. When Sam looked over the girl gave him a questioning look.  

"Sorry, my brother's just being an ass."

Dean took the empty water bottle from the side of Castiel's backpack and tossed it at Sam to get his attention. Sam was already smirking when he turned back to him.  

""Hey!""

"Well you are."

""You say that even after what I said?""

"Just because you help me out sometimes doesn't mean you aren't one."

Dean huffed and Sam kicked the water bottle back to him. When Dean put it back in his backpack he saw that the other boy was clearly amused. He pouted, making Castiel laugh.  

"I can only imagine how much more amusing the conversations between you two would be if I could catch your side of the conversation Dean," he said good naturedly.

Sam grinned.

"I like you. You keep helping me give my brother grief then you're welcome anytime."

Dean sighed and sidled up to the driver's side of the car.

"Whoops, looks like that our cue to go."

Sam gave the girl a bright smile.

"See you tomorrow Jess."

She giggled.  

"If Dean gives you any more trouble you just call me and I'll give him what for."

She took a couple steps towards the school before turning back around.

"Don't forget about the book."

"I won't."

"Good. Bye Sam."

Sam got Castiel's bag from him and put it in the back seat with his and Dean's before practically pushing him to the middle of the seat.

"Bench seat. Lotsa room."

Finally he slid in, apologizing when Sam squished him into Dean. Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's attempt at matchmaking before pulling out of the space and taking them home.  

 

Sam immediately dashed into the house as soon as Dean had the car parked-raring for a snack probably, the glutton. Really Dean had no room to talk. He was the exact same way when he went through all his growth spurts. And Sam wouldn't hesitate to remind him of that if he tried to give him grief for his recent eating habits. Sam had left the door open, and Castiel seemed to hesitate at the threshold. Dean put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a concerned, inquiring look.

"To be honest I've never done this before; been to someone's house like this I mean. I had friends at my last school, but I never got close enough to them to meet with them outside of school. Gabriel claims it's because I'm on the socially awkward side and am slow to pick up on social cues at times. You've probably noticed. Michael says it's because of my autism."

Cas watched Dean's fingers flit across the keyboard on his phone.  

""You're right Cas, I have noticed you're a bit like Gabriel says. Who is that anyway? But you're awesome, so who cares.""

Cas looked at him with undisguised surprise and awe.

"You are like no one I have ever met Dean Winchester."

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly.

"And Gabriel is my brother, as is Michael."

Dean walked into the house. Castiel still had his phone. He still stood outside. Dean quirked a smile and extended his hand out. Confusion crossed Castiel's face, but then he looked down at the phone still in his hand. He gave it back to Dean.  

""You got this dude""

Cas took a deep breath, then gave Dean a thumbs up, a determined look on his face. Dean pocketed his phone and continued into the house. Cas closed the door behind him. After dropping his keys in the key bowl, Dean toed off and slid his shoes underneath the table it was on. Cas took a moment to look at the pictures and vase of flowers that were on it as well, before taking his shoes off too.  

 

He saw a pair that he assumed were Sam's as well as a pair of women's shoes-he guess they belonged to their mother-and figured he should too if they all seemed too. At his home some left their shoes on and some took them off, so he didn't think much of it when he went to someone else's house for the first time. It was when his father was still around, and his boss was having a holiday party with the colleagues he was most fond of. The boss's daughter, who was older than Castiel, had picked him up from the library and taken him over there-she was having a study date, and had said she had no problem taking him when they learned they would both be there before the party. As soon as she had come in she had taken off her shoes, but Cas didn't think to follow her lead and left his on. He had immediately been scolded by her uptight mother when she intercepted them in the hall. The nice girl defended Cas, telling her mother that it wasn't his fault, he didn't know, and that if anything it was hers because she should have told him. Her mother had retaliated that he should have taken note of the girl taking off her shoes and done the same. His father had apologized and tried to explain to the women, but to no avail. Castiel had spent the entire night avoiding the woman and his father out of shame. Ever since then if Cas visited someone's home and saw people take off their shoes he did the same. Once Michael had expressed his wishes that Castiel would apply the logic to other situations, but he hadn't understood what he meant, and still didn't. Gabriel had brushed the comment off, shooting Michael a glare. "Why can't you just let Cassie be who he is Mike?" he'd said. "Sure he makes mistakes but he learns from them, and that's what matters." Castiel never figured out the meaning behind Gabriel's outburst, but he's pretty sure it had to do with his autism.  

 

Dean led him to the kitchen. After putting his bag on the table he took a couple steps before sliding across the hardwood floor in his sock-clad feet. He crashed into Sam, who was standing in front of the open fridge, and managed to knock him off balance, causing him to stumble into the fridge. Sam laughed and gently pushed him. Dean stepped back a couple steps for show.

""Get me a coke while you're there will ya?""  

Dean turned and picked up his hands to sign at Cas, then stopped, embarrassed. Luckily Sam knew what he was going to get at, and jumped in right away.  

"Do you want anything to drink Cas? You can help yourself to whatever we have. Our kitchen is yours."

"Thank you Sam. You too Dean."

Dean shook his head.

"I imagine he thinks you thank him too much."

Dean nodded. Castiel smiled sheepishly.  

"I'll be in my room."

With that Sam grabbed a water and his bag and went upstairs.

 

Dean gestured to the fridge before rooting around the pantry for food. With their snacks acquired they settled down at the kitchen table. Dean held up a finger and bounded out the kitchen and down the hall to grab the rest of his notes. He couldn't shake the strong feeling of awkwardness from his slip-up. He tried to push it down and just work on his homework while Cas copied down his notes, but he couldn't help but keep glancing up at Cas every once in a while. Then he'd remembered he couldn't fill the silence and would return to his work in embarrassment.  

 

Maybe it was better that people didn't want to be friends with him. Now that he was actually hanging out with someone, he was starting to realize they were right in not wanting to be his friend. Usually friends would talk while they worked. They'd ask each other questions, help each other out, get each other off topic. He couldn't do that. Doing those things required being able to talk while you worked. He'd lifted his head, glancing at him during his train of thought, when Cas looked up. He hurriedly looked back down at his work, but not fast enough to hide the look on his face from Castiel.  

"What is it Dean?"

Dean shook his head.

"You can tell me."

Dean shook his head again. He wanted to tell him it was nothing. Cas put the notebook they used during lunch between them.

"It's nothing."

"The look on your face said differently."

For once Dean was glad he couldn't speak and that Cas didn't know sign language. If he could he would have snapped at him, made a mean comment about how this is when people were usually capable of taking a hint and dropping things. It was something he tended to do when he was feeling exposed or vulnerable, so he had a means of shutting people out. But it always left him feeling extremely guilty afterwards. So really no one won in those situations.

"Can we just drop it Cas?"

He pleaded with his eyes. As much as he liked Castiel, he wasn't ready to open up and be completely honest with him yet. Hell, the fact that he did made him want to even less. It was a problem he had with Sam. Because of how close they were, how much he cared about him, he didn't want to burden him, didn't want to give him reason to worry. But at the same time it was because they were so close and cared about each other so much that-with a great deal of effort and prying-Sam was always able to get Dean to talk to him eventually. Dean and Cas weren't there yet, obviously-they barely knew each other. Finally Cas nodded, and they returned to their work. Dean bit his lip at the dejected air hanging around the boy. Without looking over he squeezed Castiel's shoulder and gave it a pat. It made Cas smile, helping him realize Dean's refusal to tell him what was wrong had nothing to do with him. The only sounds were the scribbling of pencils and the soft playing of music from Dean's iPod that he'd put on before starting.  

 

At one point Cas had a question, and Dean scooted over to get a better look, Cas following suit to be helpful to his new friend. It left them sitting close, their knees brushing; neither felt the need to move back. This was how Mary found them when she came home.  

"Hello," she said, her voice chipper. "You must be Cas."

She walked over to his side.

"I'm Dean's mom, Mary, it's nice to meet you."

"Hello."

Cas gave her a smile.  

"So whatcha boys workin on?"

""We're doing homework, getting Cas caught up.""

"Your teachers didn't give you too much work, did they Cas?"

Cas shook his head, then looked down at his stuff.

"I'm finished actually."

Dean beamed and clapped him on the back before grabbing his phone.

""Alright! Now all you need is the book read. I'm finished too. We can go play some video games if you want.""

"Sure. I've got to warn you though. I haven't had much of a chance at playing them. My brother doesn't like to share."

Dean grinned.  

""That's fine Cas.""

He pushed back from the table and made his way to the door frame.

"You clean up after yourself Dean Winchester."

His shoulders slumped and he rolled his eyes. But he willingly obliged and put his things in his bag and sat it on his chair. Cas followed suit.

"And your snacks." With everything put away Dean grabbed Cas' wrist and dashed out the room before Mary had the chance to stop them again.

"By the way Cas," Mary called from across the hall. "You're welcome to stay for dinner. I'm making chicken stir fry."

"Oh, um, thank you," he called back.  

 

After ten minutes of fumbling with the controller and a lot of dying Cas seemed to get the hang of things and they were able to delve into The Last of Us. Strangely enough, eventually Dean got bored and paused the game. He got up and went over to their collection of games and pulled out Mario Kart, turning to Cas with an evil grin. Castiel matched it with his own.

"You're on."

The next hour consisted of various shouts of anger and frustration from Cas and lots of strange kind of fidgets and bursts of movement from Dean to express his own. They took to leaning into each other to try and throw the other off. It was a test of their newfound friendship, and they passed, if their change in demeanor that resulted in them leaning against each other while they raced half heartedly was any indication. While one was choosing a course, the other would look over and smile wistfully. Dean didn't think it was possible, but he'd never been happier his father wasn't home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long.  
> Anyway, please don't get too mad at me for finally updating and giving you angst.  
> Also, warning, John is in this chapter, and he gets mean (homophobia/biphobia-he doesn't hate on being bi but Dean is bi so I'm putting it down-is involved)  
> Hopefully the next chapter wont take an age and a day

The next morning Mary practically pounced on him when Dean entered the kitchen.  
"Cas is a very nice boy."  
Dean gave her a look.  
"He seems to really like you."  
""Mom.""  
"What? I was just saying! I'm happy for you Dean. He seems to be very interested in being your friend. And he seems very earnest and honest. I think he'd be good for you."  
""Oh come on. Can't I at least have the opportunity to enjoy my first real friendship before you start playing matchmaker?""  
"But you don't just want to be his friend. And you're supposed to be friends with the person you're in a relationship with anyway."  
Dean smacked Sam upside the head as he walked by him.  
"Ow, hey!"  
""How are things with you and that Jess chick Sammy?"" Dean taunted.  
Sam's red cheeks ruined the effect of his scowl. "Shut up."  
Mary's face lit up. "Who's Jess?"  
Sam groaned. "Thanks a lot Dean."  
Dean shot him a smirk.  
Mary pouted.  
"Why don't you wanna talk to me about it Samuel? My boys never want to talk to me about their lives. I could stop making you breakfast you know."  
Dean ran up to her to give their mom a crushing hug while Sam crooned, "We love you mommy."  
"Yeah, I thought so."  
""It's just a girl he likes. She's real cute.""  
"Oh, that's wonderful Sam. Why haven't you invited her over yet?"  
"Because of him."  
Sam pointed an accusing finger at his older brother.  
Dean feigned a look of innocence.  
""I don't know what you're talking about.""  
Upon seeing the look on Sam's face Dean ducked behind Mary.  
"Boys please. Dean, go sit down and let me finish breakfast."  
Dean huffed and slunk over to his spot at the table. Sam laughed at him and he scowled.

 

Thankfully, Sam didn't have any reason to go into school early. Dean didn't either. So they were able to go in at their usual time. Of course Sam had friends, so naturally he wanted to talk to them before class. Which meant they still arrived at school early. This was all fine and dandy, but it meant Dean had to find a way to amuse himself for thirty minutes. And no way was he contacting Cas; it would make him seem too clingy (which he totally wasn't).

 

Normally he was content waiting in his first period classroom; today he didn't feel like it though. Maybe he could beg Benny into giving him coffee. He felt the pull of addictive need for it more than usual.  
It was all Cas' fault. Dean found out that while he was educated in pop-culture, Cas had only ever read Harry Potter.

 

"People that watch book to movie adaptations are only ever disappointed."

""Yeah, well, so!""

Needless to say they started the first one-dropping mario kart immediately-and finished after dinner. Dean had never had so much social interaction before, so he couldn't help but feel tired. To his embarrassment he got this close to dropping off on Cas' shoulder. Cas was great about it, and had no problem. It was himself that was the problem. He couldn't stop thinking about it. It kept him up that night.

 

The cafeteria was blessedly quiet, only filled with a few scattered groups of people. Dean went straight for the door to the kitchen. He knocked on it noisily in no particular rhythm until Benny finally came out.  
"Mornin Dean," he drawled.  
Dean gave him a little wave. Then he mimed drinking and clasped his hands together in front of his chin. He added a bit of a hop for emphasis.  
Benny huffed a laugh.  
"Gimme a sec."  
When he came back with a disposable cup in hand Dean beamed at him.  
"Yeah, yeah, go get to class."  
Dean pouted and pointed at the clock, but he left anyway.

 

On the way to his classroom his phone buzzed. Dean took his phone out right away, hoping it was Cas. It was. It's not like he was all excited about it, so he waited till he was in his seat to look at the text.  
"Please tell me you have the rest of the movies."  
"You weren't disappointed?"  
"Details were off but it was overall very good."  
"Well look at you"  
"*insert eye roll* So do you have them or what?"  
"Weve got em all"  
"We have to watch the rest when I'm done catching up in English."  
"Yes boss"  
"Good :P"  
":)"  
"He sent one back! Oh my god yod you're so lame."  
"Shaddup"  
"Never XD"  
The bell rings and after Cas sends another one.  
"I'm in store for a lecture. I should pay attention."  
"Oh come on. Arent I more fun?"  
"Yes, but that's beside the point :P"  
Dean sat back and fidgeted in his chair before returning to his phone.  
"Ill let you go then. Don't wanna get yelled at by my teacher anyway"  
"See you later Dean :)"

 

Today Cas was in the office first. He gave Dean a smile as he walked up to the table. Dean immediately went for their notebook.  
"So you survived without my fun I see."  
"Barely."  
Dean laughed and dug into his lunch. Cas stared at his own for a little, before seeming to make a decision and turning to the notebook.  
"Who's Alastair?"  
Dean swallowed, the letters swam across the blurred page. Hesitantly he grabbed the notebook and pen.  
"He been trying to bother you?"  
"It's been nothing terrible. He's mostly just annoying. But he mentioned he saw us together at some point and made this scary face and chuckled. I turned away and pulled out my book after that."  
"Alastair"    
Dean didn't write anything after that. He chewed his lip and his hand shook slightly-barely noticeable really. Then he started writing again.   
"He's not a good guy. I've had a few run ins with him."  
Dean put his pencil down and shoved his hands under the table.  
"What do you mean?"  
Dean shook his head, which made Cas' expression somehow grow more concerned than it already was.  
"I don't talk about it."  
"Okay."  
Dean wouldn't look at him. So Cas drew a smiley face. Without looking at him Dean drew one too. Cas really wanted to give Dean a comforting touch, but he wasn't comfortable initiating contact. So he just ended up staring at him instead. How was it that he could even be attractive when he ate?  
In an attempt to stop feeling awkward Dean reached across Cas and stole a french fry. Cas half-heartedly swatted his hand. But when Dean moved his chair closer and reached for more he didn't protest. Dean smiled to himself and leaned to the left. He bumped Cas' shoulder; Cas bumped back.  

 

It was finally the end of school, and Dean was rushing down the hall when he spotted Cas. He made a split second decision and weaved through the crowd of students, tapping him on the shoulder. Cas turned around and smiled.  
"Hello Dean."  
Dean returned the smile, then pointed to himself, stuck his arms out to move them in the universal driving gesture, and pointed to Cas. Cas regarded him for a minute before nodding.  
"Yeah okay. Thanks. It beats taking the bus."  
Dean brought his hands up, but then fiddled with his fingers before taking his phone out of his pocket.  
""You can always catch a ride with us if you want.""  
Cas beamed (and he needed to calm his face down, it wasn't fair, Dean couldn't handle it).

 

He started walking and Cas quickly fell into step next to him. Outside the school they noticed Sam and Jess were a couple feet ahead of them. Cas went to catch their attention, but Dean threw his arm in from of him. When Cas looked at him questioningly he grinned and shook his head. Then he made his hands into a heart and held them out in front of his face to look through them like binoculars. Cas grinned and said, ah. Dean put his arm around Cas so he could steer him to another row. They used their new advantage to walk a little closer. 

 

Sam fingered the hem of his shirt.  
"What do you say we meet up this weekend and talk about what you've read by then. If you haven't finished it that is. That thing is totally spaz worthy."  
Jess sighed, but she was smiling.  
"Just what I need. Another book I can't put down. How about we meet for breakfast on Saturday?"  
Sam grinned at her.  
"Great. Eight-thirty work?"  
"Yeah. I can get my mom to drive us to."  
"Cool."  
"Then it's a date."  
Sam's eyes widened, and Jessica's lips parted in an O and she hastily looked away. Meanwhile Dean enthusiastically pumped the air, and Cas tried his hardest to laugh quietly.  
Jessica continued. "Um, that is-"  
"Can’t wait."  
Sam was looking at her with the expression equivalent to if a puppy could smile. Jess smiled at the ground.  
"Cool."

 

Dean put his phone into Cas' hand.  
""That's our cue.""  
Dean walked over to them-Cas trailing just behind-and slung his arm over Sam's shoulders. He smirked at Sam and winked at Jess. Both turned red.  
"Dean!"   
Dean laughed at his brother's expense. There was a small giggle and everyone looked to Cas. Cas put a hand over his mouth and held up the other.  
"Man, not you too," Sam whinned.   
Now Cas was full on laughing. "Sorry Sam, that was just so cute; you should have seen your faces!"  
Dean grinned and put his other arm around Cas. The proud and smug hah of the gesture was abundantly clear.   
Jess sighed.  
"You guys are absolutely juvenile."  
Cas looked over at Dean, then back to Jess.  
"I imagine Dean would exclaim, you know it!, if he could."   
Dean threw his head back and nodded.  
"Shit, he already speaks Dean. I'm doomed."   
Jess laughed.  
"Good luck with that. I'm going to retreat now while I can. Bye guys."  
Jess gave Sam a sweet smile.  
"Bye Sam."  
Sam returned it.  
"Bye."  
Dean waved, then put his arms back down and got into the Car. The other boys followed suit, Cas giving Dean directions at Deans questioning look. Dean put his arm on the back of the seat as he was driving off campus, and Sam blatantly pushed Cas over so he would be in the space the position provided. Dean punched Sam in the arm, and Cas gave him a look, but he didn't move from the seat, and Cas didn't slide back from the spot. Sam huffed at his loss. After they dropped Cas off Dean teased Sam every chance he got. At one point he got serious and expressed his happiness for Sam, but then he brushed it off with a joke and got Sam to play video games with him. 

 

Dean's happy high was effectively killed later that evening. John came home just as Mary called them for dinner. Dean was walking across the hall-Sam just behind-when John entered the house. He subtly jerked his shoulder into Dean as he pushed past him, knocking him into the doorframe. Fuck, John had an extra shit day. Sam helped Dean right himself before Mary could see. When they were all sat down Dean internally shook himself and plastered on a slight grin.  
""Sammy, you should tell Mom the great news. She'll be real happy for you.""  
Before either of the two could react John cut in.  
"Will you just shut up? It's obnoxious to have to keep seeing your hands move," he snapped with a sharp glare in Dean's direction.   
Dean's smile wilted. He twitched his fingers, then he hid his hands underneath the table. John continued, his tone harsh.  
"Honestly, why can't you just be normal? Do you know how embarrassing it is to have a son that's a freak of nature?A fag that can't talk. It's mortifying. My life's already shit enough without you in it."

 

With each word Dean curled further in on himself, and by the end tears were threatening to form. They shouldn't hurt-his father was an asshole, he didn't need him, his words didn't matter-but they stung like hell. Without looking up Dean slowly got up from his chair and went to his room, his food untouched. Mary sent John a withering glare. Sam badly wanted to go after Dean, but knew he would need some space first, so he focused on eating his dinner.

 

Dean shut his door, crawled onto his bed, and silently cried. After some time his phone went off, but Cas' text went ignored. A little longer and he heard Sam let himself in. Dean sat up and let Sam take him into his arms. Sam pulled away and got off the bed, knowing Dean would only let him do so much. He stopped in the doorway.  
"Your plate's in the fridge. I'll be in my room."  
Dean laid back down. He didn't get up again until the next morning.

 

After Dean turned off his alarm he checked the message.  
"'We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at least one which makes the heart run over.' I like this :)"  
"I highlighted it in my book"  
Dean found Cas replied when he got back from his shower. He felt an awful, deep exhaustion that comes from crying yourself to sleep, but at least the shower de-puffed his eyes and got them working properly. Dean read the reply, but he didn't answer it.  
"So you are alive :p Good morning."

 

Dean finished getting ready and went to the kitchen for breakfast. When he walked in Sam wordlessly handed him a mug of coffee, and his plate of breakfast came with a tight, lingering squeeze from Mary. When It was time to go Dean left for the Impala, his food only partially eaten. Sam followed Dean with his sad gaze, still sat in his chair. His eyes got a little shiny.  
"Why does Dad have to be so mean?"  
Mary walked over and gave her youngest a hug. Recognizing it was rhetorical, she didn't answer his question. She didn't even really know herself anyway.  
"You go and get on to school sweetie."   
Sam stood up and went to get his backpack. When he came back down Mary offered him a paper bag.  
"Give this to Dean."  
Sam nodded and kissed his mother on the cheek before heading out the door. Sam put his bag in the back, and put the lunch in Dean's, then slid into the front seat. He immediately moved over and enveloped Dean in a hug.   
"There's lunch in your bag."   
Dean only moved to ruffle Sam's hair after he pulled away. 

 

When Cas got to the office Dean was already there, hunched over his lunch. He'd never seen him look so small. He approached Dean slowly-as if he were a frightened animal-not taking his eyes off him when he sat down. Dean didn't look up.  
"Dean?"  
He looked up with a smile that looked a little forced.  
"You alright?  
Dean nodded.  
"You don't seem alright.  
Dean went into Cas' backpack and took out their notebook and a pen.  
"I'm fine, really."  
Cas took the pen out of Dean's hand. His eyebrows were scrunched together.  
"I don't believe you.  
Dean blew out a puff of air.  
"Did something happen last night? Is that why you didn't answer my text until this morning?"  
"It's not like I'd tell you anyway."  
Dean saw the closed off look on Cas' face and hastily added more.  
"It's not because of you though. I just don't tell people things."  
Cas' expression shifted.  
"I won't tell you to do something you're not comfortable with, but you shouldn't keep things in. It's not good for you."  
Dean petulantly crossed his arms.  
"I'm not good at it either, so I journal my problems."  
"I'm not exactly much of a writer."  
"Have you done it before? Besides school I mean."  
Dean shook his head. Cas smiled.  
"Well then how would you know?"  
"If I was wouldn't I have felt the desire to try it anyway?"  
Cas thought for a moment.  
"Not necessarily."  
Dean pursed his lips. Cas noticed, his eyes lingering. He snapped himself out of it and returned to the notebook.  
"You should give it a try."  
Dean narrowed his eyes, smiling slightly.  
"Maybe."  
Between Cas being not quite sure on how to carry on the conversation, and Dean not feeling up to his usual self, they spent the rest of lunch eating in silence.

 

For once Dean wished the day wasn't over, and would rather be at school then at home. Being ignored by your [temporary] peers was a helluva lot better than receiving bad treatment from your father. Sadly it couldn't be avoided, so Dean trudged to the car to prolong getting home. By the time he got there Sam and Cas were already at the Impala. Dean right away got into the car; Cas followed suit. Sam lingered on the hood of the Impala, his sad face following his brother.

 

They were out of the parking lot when Cas broke the silence.  
"I'm coming over today."  
The car swerved a little, and Sam and Cas clung to each other.  
"Can't let you mope alone all day. So we're going to do homework together and then talk about the book because I need someone to discuss it with."

 

Cas had spent the rest of his classes planning this all out in his head. Dean heaved a huge sigh and drove on to their house. When they got to the house he immediately killed the engine and walked in-clearly distracted-if the fact that he left his bag was anything to go by. Cas shared a worried look with Sam.  
"I'd tell you if it was my place." Cas sighed and climbed out the driver's side, grabbing his and Dean's bags. Sam led him inside.  
"Want to play some video games? He might be a couple minutes."  
"Okay."

 

After ten minutes of Cas dying, and Sam periodically laughing at his misfortune and giving him pointers, Dean emerged. The front of his hair was damp, and his hand went to his neck when the pair regarded him.   
Dean picked up his hands to sign before awkwardly halting in midair. He had a clear thinking face going before he finally just shrugged and gestured to the kitchen.  
"I think he's dragging you away for homework now."  
Dean nodded, and Cas got up and followed him.

 

Cas grew confused when Dean didn't stop at the table. He followed him through the kitchen-past the stairs to the second floor-and to the end of the hall. Dean immediately went in and fell into his chair. Cas, meanwhile, hesitated in the doorway. He'd never been in someone else's room before-at least that wasn't family. He'd never seen a bedroom painted red either. Dean gestured for him to come in, and Cas shuffled in, making his way to tentatively sit on the edge of Dean's bed. Dean held his arm out towards his bag. Cas tossed it at him at his gesture. It was a surprisingly accurate toss. Dean gave him a smile that Cas didn't believe for a second. With no idea of how to get him to talk he didn't say anything though.

 

It took a while for them to get their homework done, since both of them were rather distracted. Cas finished first and settled against the wall to wait for Dean to finish. He ended up watching Dean while he waited. It's not like he was being creepy, he just couldn't help it if his eyes gravitated to what was aesthetically pleasing. When Dean finally finished and turned around he quickly looked away so he wouldn't catch him. Dean reached behind himself and held up the book to Cas. It seemed he didn't want to waste time. Cas turned to his bag to pull out his own. While he was rummaging through his things he felt a dip in the bed. He turned to find Dean sitting next to him. Dean had his own notebook with him, and when Cas turned to him he set to write something down.  
"It'll be easier if we each have our own."  
"Good idea."

 

Dean froze. Fuck, that was the door. What time was it? He struggled to appear normal. Dad was home. They'd lost track of time.  
"Dean?"  
Cas didn't understand. Why was Dean suddenly so quiet, so still?  
At the sound of Cas' voice Dean felt the pressure build behind his eyes. Shit, no, don't start crying again Winchester. Cas is in the room with you this time.  
There was a knock at the door.  
"Hey boys? It's time for dinner."  
Cas climbed off the bed.  
"Okay."  
Dean shot his hand out to grab his wrist. They couldn't go yet, not until he calmed down. Shit, Cas couldn't go. His prescence would make this shit storm worse. Dean tried to will his eyes to stop feeling so hot.  
"Dean, that hurts," Cas said quietly.  
His grip must have tightened without him realizing. Dean let go and help up his hands in apology. He didn't look up though. Cas sat down next to him, and put his hand over his. Dean didn't have the voice to tell him it was a weird thing to do if two dudes weren't in a relationship.  
"Talk to me Dean."  
Suddenly they were reminded Mary was outside the door.  
"Dean, I'll tell your father you guys are finishing up your discussion."  
Finally Dean could function again. He shot up and threw open the door. Mary took in the look on his face that told he was about to cry.  
"Dean-"  
Dean shook his head. Then he did it harder, and took a deep breath. He turned to Cas and gestured to come on. Cas sighed and stood up, and they all went to the kitchen. 

 

Sam was already in his usual spot. Dean took his, and Cas sat where he had last time. Mary called John to the table before taking hers. The three Winchesters sat with bated breath, Cas unaware. They had no idea how John would react to Cas being at the table, sitting by Dean. Cas noticed the look was back on Dean's face again, and he put his hand back on Dean's, concern lacing his features. Dean shot him a warning look, but he was too late. John walked in. Dean snatched his hand away, and John leveled him with a hard stare. Mary tried to clear the air.  
"John, this is Cas. He just moved here, and they're in the same grade, so Dean has been helping him adjust and catch up."  
John leveled Cas with a stare.  
"So you have class together?"  
Cas shook his head.  
"No, the school secretary had him show me around school."  
"And you guys just hit it off somehow?"  
Cas missed the double edged sword.  
"Yes."  
John's face tightened, and he focused his attention on his plate. Cas leaned over to Dean.  
"Did I say something wrong?"  
Dean took out his phone, and John zeroed in on it.  
"Dean, no phones at the table-"  
""But Dad, Cas doesn't know ASL.""  
"No phones."  
""But I can't communicate with him unless I write it down.""  
"Are you disobeying your father Dean?"  
Dean flinched and looked down.  
""No sir.""  
He picked the phone up off the table and pocketed it.

 

Dinner ended up a silent affair. Mary and Sam tried to make conversation with Cas, but honestly, he was too scared to meet their attempts. John had scoffed at his lack of responses, clearly thinking him to be rude. As sick, and wrong as it was, he thought Dean could've at least found a decent guy. Then again, his son wasn't who he thought he was years ago.

 

Once again Dean barely ate, picking at his food.  
"There something wrong with your mother's cooking?"  
Dean shook his head.  
"Then eat it. You should appreciate your food. She doesn't have to make it for you."  
"It's fine John. He's not hungry, he doesn't have to eat it."  
Sam couldn't help it.  
"Since when do you care so much anyway?" he snapped.  
"Shut up Sam. You're supposed to respect your parents."  
Sam scoffed, growing angrier.  
"You don't deserve it! Your life is shit, we get it. But why don't you do something about it instead of take it out on the family you're supposed to love?"  
They delved into another shouting match, and Dean curled in on himself miserably.  
Mary turned to Cas.  
"If you're finished you can go back to Dean's room."  
Cas, in fact, was. He turned to Dean.  
"Come on."

 

John and Sam didn't even notice they left. When they were back in his room Dean immediately went for his notebook.  
"I don't mean to kick you out but it's probably in your best interest that you leave."  
Cas nodded.  
"Okay. See you tomorrow Dean."  
He offered Dean a smile. Dean returned it. Neither completely felt the sentiment. Cas hoped Dean wouldn't try to push him away after this. He let himself out, slipping through the kitchen undetected, save for Mary, who simply waved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys. I actually finished this chapter relatively quickly, but I've been dealing with a lot of personal stuff. I got so wrapped up in it that I never got around to posting

Dean was woken up before his alarm. It took him a minute to wonder why before his brain registered the yelling.  
"You can't treat him like this John. He's your son!"  
"Well I didn't think he'd end up like this!"  
"It shouldn't matter!"  
"Why is it so bad to want a kid who's normal?"  
"It's bad to not except your son for who he is! He's always been mute; I don't understand why you still haven't come to terms with it. And why should it matter that he doesn't just like girls? It doesn't affect anything."  
"This is ridiculous."  
"See, you can't even come up with an argument!"  
"I don't have time for this. I have to get to work."  
"John."

  
The only sound that came next was the door. There was no way he could fall asleep after that, so Dean read until his alarm went off. Except he couldn't concentrate, so he mostly just stared at the pages.

  
In the end Dean put the book down and got up before his alarm. He grabbed his phone-for when his alarm went off-and headed up stairs. When Dean peaked in Sam was in front of his dresser in his boxers, fishing for clothes. He slipped in and awkwardly hovered in the doorway, torn between wanting to reach out and keeping everything bottled up at the same time. Sam turned around, his shirt on, jeans in hand, and startled.  
"Dean."  
Dean looked to his feet, hand on his neck.

"Hey Sam."  
Sam pulled on his jeans and sat down on his bed.

"You're up early."  
"Yeah, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."  
"How come?"  
Dean sat down and shrugged.

"Just couldn't."  
Sam stared at his brother for a little before lightly slapping his knees.  
"Let's watch a movie after school today."  
"Home or theatre?"  
"Theatre. We can get dinner after."  
"Alright."

 

The teacher's droning worked as the perfect lullaby for Dean to nod off to. He was in the middle of fighting to keep his eyes open-and losing the battle-when he felt his pocket buzz. His heart stuttered in his chest, bringing him back to wakefulness, and he discretely pulled his phone out of his pocket.  
"Please save me, my class is boring as hell."  
"I know how you feel. Im trying not to fall asleep here"  
"Did you not get enough sleep last night?"  
"I was woken up early"  
"Why?"  
Dean ran a hand through his hair.

"I just did"  
Cas worried his lip.

"Did it have to do with yesterday?"  
"Look Ive gotta go I dont want to get caught"  
"Fine, see you at lunch."  
"Yeah"  
Dean swallowed. He hoped Cas wouldn't take it personally if he didn't show up at lunch today.

 

Cas quietly blew out a breath. Dean was probably going to try to avoid him. He had to make sure that didn't happen. So Cas intercepted him in the hallway. He rushed up to his friend and fell into step beside him. Once again their shoulders brushed. Dean looked at him, surprise in his eyes. Cas gave him a smile. Dean gave a weak one back, then looked away and put his hands in his pockets.

  
Cas stuck to Dean like glue, never letting him out of his sight. He followed him into the bathroom, which earned him a weird look from Dean. He walked into the cafeteria and stood in line with him. The lady at the register's gaze lingered on him while Dean punched in his student code.  
Ms. Bradbury greeted them enthusiastically when they walked into the office, her eyes drifting to the lack of space between them.  
"Hey fellas."  
Cas stopped, offering her a smile, and said hello. Dean kept walking to the table, giving her a wave on the way. She looked to Cas questioningly.  
"He's been having a rough couple of days," he said quietly.  
Ms. Bradbury's gaze shifted over to Dean.

"What do you mean?"  
Cas sighed. "I'm not completely sure myself."  
She turned back to Cas, her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Well I wish you the best of luck."  
Cas huffed.

"Thanks."  
"Don't give up on him."  
This time Cas looked over to Dean. He was smiling.  
"I don't plan to."  
Dean, having felt their eyes, turned around in his chair, fixing Cas with a stare. It said: you gonna come sit or what?  
Cas rolled his eyes and walked over. Ms. Bradbury giggled.

 

"I wish you'd clue me in on what's going on. At home and your head."  
Dean looked over to the notebook, detecting the movement of Cas' arm out of the corner of his eye. After reading, he simply turned back to his lunch. Cas didn't miss the way he hung his head.  
"I'm here for when you want me to be, Dean."  
Cas got up and threw away his trash. When he got back Dean's handwriting was added to the page.  
"Thanks Cas."

 

Dean ran into Sam and Jess on the way to the car.  
"Ready for the movies?"  
""Probably should've thought of this before, but do you know the times? Or what's even playing?""  
"Yeah, I looked during lunch."  
"Sounds fun," Jess chirped.  
"One day we can all go, with Cas."  
Sam turned to Dean and winked.  
""Make it a double date.""  
Dean scowled, his cheeks tinged.

""Come on man!""  
""You don't relent, so neither do I.""  
Dean pouted, and Sam turned back to Jess with a grin.  
"I'm just teasing him."  
"About what? I wanna be included," Jess whined.  
"If I told you he'd probably kill me."  
Dean nodded.  
"Well we can't have that. I'll leave it alone then."  
"That's probably for the best."  
"Looks like Cas is already at the Car. I'll leave you here."  
The younger teens shared a hug and exchanged goodbyes.  
As he approached, Dean gave Cas a smile. It wasn't as faulty as the one from earlier. Although it wasn't enough for Sam to miss that the air was off between them. He knew, of course, that it was Dean's doing, but at least it seemed like Cas was trying not to let that happen.

 

Sam and Cas made conversation on the way to his house. When they dropped him off Sam felt more hopeful.  
"Bye Dean."  
Dean gave him another wilted smile. Then Cas put a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean looked to it and back to Cas' face in wonderment. Their eyes locked, and time for them froze. For Sam it still kept moving, and after a little he slumped against the open car door he was standing at and cleared his throat pointedly. They both blinked, the moment gone, and Cas removed his hand and slid out of the car, taking his backpack from Sam. After his own goodbye Sam got back into the car and fixed his brother with a look.  
""Shut up.""  
Sam grinned, and Dean turned back to the wheel. They went straight to the theatre from Cas' house, Dean's music blasting from the speakers.

 

To Sam's relief the outing seemed to help. When they left the movie and went on to the local diner Dean walked with his usual nonchalance. And as dinner went on he enjoyed himself more little by little, hands moving in the air confidently. But waves form and crash against the shore, foam rolling and spanning out explosively. Dean's revived spirits from an evening away from home were dashed with the readmittance of reality.

 

Sam chanced a question in the car.

"Are you gonna tell Cas?"  
Dean's hands tightened on the wheel. At a stoplight he lifted them.  
""Cas doesn't need to be dragged into my crap.""  
"Dean, he's your friend. He's worried about you. At least put him at ease, even just a little bit, by letting him in."  
""You think he wants to deal with my shit? Be a lot to go through for someone you don't need in your life.""  
"I think, if it were you, he would face anything."  
""We barely know each other.""  
"Yeah, and you would do the same!"  
The light turned green; the conversation was over.

 

That night Sam called Cas from outside on the balcony.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey Cas."  
"Sam. How are you?"  
"I'm good Cas. Listen, I need to talk to you."  
"What about?"  
"About Dean."  
Cas sucked in a breath.

"What is it?"  
"I know it's not my place to tell you what's going on with him, but I can't let this go on any longer. If this goes on for too long he'll fall back into a bad place."  
"Fall back into one?"  
"He's…he's got a history with depression."  
"…Oh. I'm sorry he and your family have to go through that."  
"Thanks."

Sam shook his head.

"That's not completely the point right now though."  
"Um, right. Fill me in."  
"Okay. So, my dad snapped at Dean the other night. He doesn't like to talk about when stuff like this happens cause then it means he's accepting the fact that our family is the opposite of normal and functional. I'm sure you've noticed he tries to avoid getting in touch with his feelings.

"Anyway, we were at the dinner table, engaging in normal dinner time antics. Dean said something-which we both know means signed-and Dad went off. He attacked him for signing, basically. Said it was annoying.

"He ended up, then, going off on some tangent about him being a freak and wishing he was normal. He also negatively brought up his sexuality. I'll leave Dean to give you details. Dinner when you were over was just him…delving into it more. It always really messes Dean up when Dad is mean to him like that."  
"That's awful…"  
"Yeah. I…kind of hate him for it. So now that you know the cliff notes you should talk to Dean. I really think you can help him Cas, a lot."  
Cas swallowed.

"Okay."  
Sam nodded to himself.

"I should go. Sorry if I'm giving you whiplash."  
"What?"  
Sam chuckled.

"Never mind. Bye."  
"Um, bye."

 

The next morning, when he was getting ready, Dean was met with the surprising sound of his phone.  
"You get to school early right?"  
"Yeah why"  
"Can we meet up before class? I want to tell you something."  
"suuure"  
They arranged where to meet, and Dean finished getting ready.

  
When Cas saw Dean arrive he shuffled his feet. Immediately Dean handed him his phone.  
"What's up Cas?"  
Cas wouldn't look at him.  
"Sam filled me in a little."  
He glanced up in time to see Dean's guarded look of confusion.  
"I know about your dad. I know he doesn't like that you're mute, and apparently you're not straight? Honestly, I think it's stupid that to him it matters."  
Dean's face was stony.  
"I know you don't like to talk about stuff like this, but Sam's worried and I'm worried."

  
Dean's hands flew of their own accord. He couldn't think to gather his thoughts, instead he snapped at Cas, needing to lash out. It was a good thing his friend couldn't understand him. He was angry. He wasn't angry at him, but in the moment his brain doesn't know that. He's angry at Sam. He's angry Cas knows. He's angry Cas may perceive him differently now; as weak. He's angry at his father. He's angry with himself.

  
Suddenly Cas puts his hands over Dean's, concern lacing his features. And when he does it Dean is breathing hard. He worked himself up, but he may also be starting to have a panic attack. Dean stares at their hands, trying to pull himself together. And when Cas squeezes his, his gaze darts up, and they lock eyes.   
It's staring into the blue depths of Cas' eyes that grounds Dean, effectively calming him down. They both startle when the five minute bell rings, and Dean snatches his hands back, looking a little to the side and a little down, his face colored red.

"I'll see you at lunch Dean."  
Dean looks up and smiles (It almost looks as beautiful as normal) nodding once in acknowledgement. They part ways for class. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just keep in mind when it's been forever and a day since I've updated  
> Writing is hard!

Dean is already in the office when Cas comes in. It doesn't look like he's touched his food. He continues to stare down at the table when Cas comes over, all the while twiddling the pen in his hand. As soon as Cas puts their notebook down he snatches it up and starts writing furiously. Cas is left to sit, waiting for many minutes, while Dean attacks the paper. When he's finally finished Dean hands Cas a page of writing. Cas looks to Dean, questions on his tongue, to see him biting his lip, anxiety clearly in his eyes. Cas sets to reading immediately.

 

"When I was little Dad was constantly coming up with excuses to not play with me. He never took me to my ball games, never took me to the park. It was always, I have to go to work, I have to get this chore done, I have to run these errands. He was never there for me; not when I fell and scraped my knee, now when I woke up from nightmares, not when I needed someone there for me comforting and strong to chase the monsters out from under my bed. Everything fell to Mom. She was always there for me, not him.

 

"Then came along Sammy. Sam was everything. He was new, he was different, he could talk. Dad did everything for him. He taught him to ride a bike, he took him to his ball games. He was there when he fell, he was there to give advice, he was there to tuck him in at night. He was never too busy. Suddenly he wasn't needed at work all the time.

 

"The older I got the worse his treatment of me became. He started to subtly bully me. All I ever got from him was passive aggression. I got little shoves, I got snide remarks. It didn't take long for him to create a rift in our family. He upset Mom with the way he treated me. His neglect put pressure on her to practically take care of me by herself. Every once in a while she couldn't take it and they would get into fights.

 

"It got worse when Sam grew older. He realized that Dad didn't give me the same treatment as him. He noticed how mean he was to me. And Sam grew to hate him for it. Suddenly this sweet kid developed an attitude and was relentless towards Dad. This just made Mom more stressed; now she had a rebellious kid on her hands. So Dad turned to drinking because both of his sons were disappointments, and he decided to take it all out on me. His treatment of me grew worse, and he moved to ignoring me all together when he wasn't being an even bigger asshole.

 

"But Sam started to mature and the attitude was toned down. Plus, he learned if he wasn't obedient there would be hell to pay. And when there was, all he did was get yelled at, most of it was for me.

 

"Then of course there was the instance when Dad overheard me talking to Sam. And that's how he learned-to his disgust-that I'm bi.

 

"So-between the two-I went back to being the martyr of the family."

 

Cas looked up at Dean with sad eyes. Dean had been watching him, and looked away once their eyes met.  
"Dean…I'm-that's awful. You had to go through so much, and still do now. I'm here okay. I'll do anything I can to help you. Remember that."  
Dean smiled and mouthed thanks.

 

Dean hesitated at the wheel before setting out to get him and Sam and Cas home. Cas put up a confused protest when Dean didn't take the route to his house.  
"Um, Dean. What are you doing? Aren't you going to take me home?"  
Dean shook his head.  
"Is he coming home with us?" Sam asked knowingly.  
Dean nodded. He took his hands off the wheel to quickly sign.  
""You're being kidnapped, if that's okay with you.""  
Sam laughed and relayed the message. Cas smiled at Dean in the mirror, happy he seemed to be treating him like normal again.  
"That's perfectly fine with me."

 

They did their homework at the kitchen table, Sam joining them this time. It actually made Dean feel better, because Cas got to joke around while doing work like you were supposed to do. And he has to admit, he still feels a little awkward about Cas seeing the dysfunctional side of his family. Plus he had the awkwardness of opening himself up to Cas like the way he did today.

 

Mary was delighted to see Cas in his usual seat when he came home, and immediately okayed if what she was making for dinner was good with him. He expressed it was his favorite, and both Mary and Dean took note.

 

When they were all finished, Dean turned to Sam.  
""We're watching Harry Potter tonight. The only say you have is whether you watch it too.""  
"Well then. I don't feel like watching Harry Potter-"  
Dean gasped dramatically.  
"You think I'm a nerd?"  
""Hey!""  
"Anyway," Sam said pointedly. "I don't feel like watching Harry Potter-yes, I know, I'm a scandal-so I'll go upstairs and read until dinner."  
Dean shook his head.

""Disappointing Sammy, disappointing.""

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Whatever Dean."

 

Sam packed up his stuff and went upstairs. Dean and Cas packed up theirs and brought their bags into the living room with them. Dean put the disc in and they settled down in the middle of the couch. He sat down first, his legs splayed out in his usual manner. Cas sat down and crossed his legs like a pretzel, so his leg overlapped Dean's. Dean tried not to focus on the warmth the connection was bringing.

 

Dean flinched when he heard the door open, and Cas, concerned, put a hand on his knee. Dean tried to give him a reassuring smile. He looked back up to see John standing in the doorway.  
Shit, he shouted in his head.  
John, surprisingly, didn't say or do anything. He simply walked away, into the kitchen.  
""That was weird," Dean signed-too weirded out to realize what he was doing.  
Cas couldn't catch it all, but he thinks he caught the sign for weird.  
So he said, "That was weird."  
Dean found it odd they had the same thought.

 

Cas had started learning sign language after meeting him. He'd been working hard, pouring over everything he could find every chance he got. It was costing him sleep, and his concentration on school work was low enough that he only earned low B's. But he wanted to be able to communicate with Dean properly. He was finally starting to get the hang of it. The language was finally starting to stick. (When his brother's found out how quickly he was taking to ASL, Gabriel called him a genius. Really it wasn't that big of a deal. Dean generally spelled out words when he could. Sam says it's because Dean didn't want them to have to learn so much. Of course Mary and Sam worked just as hard as Dean did towards learning ASL, so they didn't need him to do it. John did though.)

 

Dinner was an awkward affair. John didn't say a single thing. Not when Mary tried to talk to him, not to make a quip at Dean's expense. He did stare at Dean and Cas a lot, making the two of them very uncomfortable. When they finished, they all but tripped over each other to get out of there. They returned to Harry Potter with heaps of relief.

 

They were well into the movie when Dean's emotionally draining last couple days hit him. One minute he was watching, the next his head was on Castiel's shoulder. A second later he was fast asleep. Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean's for a little, reveling in the feel of Dean being cuddled up to him like this. Little did he know that John was watching, absolutely disgusted. After a minute he called Gabriel, speaking into the phone softly.  
"Hey, Gabe. Can you come pick me up from Dean's house."  
"Yeah sure, why ya speakin so softly?"  
"Dean's asleep."  
"Hence the need for a ride."  
"Yeah."  
"Give me directions and I'll come get ya. I'll text you when I get there."  
"Thanks."  
Castiel gave him the address and hung up, resuming his position.

 

About five or so minutes later Cas got Gabriel's text. Reluctantly he woke Dean to tell him what was going on.  
"Hey, Dean?"  
Dean lifted his head, an adorably confused look on his face. He took the situation in and immediately his face flushed.  
"Gabriel's here, so I'm leaving now. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Dean."  
Dean gave him a sleepy smile. Cas just about melted. He let himself out.

 

When lunch started Dean wouldn't look Cas in the eye. At first Cas didn't notice, but then it became somewhat of a pattern, and he didn't let it go on from there.  
"Alright, what gives?"  
Dean raised his eyebrows at the writing.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You won't look me in the eye."  
"What? That's not true."  
"Don't lie to me Dean Winchester."  
"I fell asleep on you."  
Cas looked up to see Dean's face was red. He actually spoke this time.  
"Huh?"  
"I fell asleep on you last night, and I'm real sorry about that."  
Cas laughed before returning to the notebook.  
"That's what this is about?"  
"Well, yeah."  
"You're being ridiculous Dean. I didn't-and still don't-mind. It was kind of nice actually."  
Again with the brutal honesty. Dean didn't know how much more he could take it. His chest needed a break from all the stuttering his heart did.  
"Alright. Well, uh, glad we cleared that up then."

 

Dean and Sam were playing video games in the living room, and Mary was cooking in the kitchen when John came home. Dean detected an early indication of his mood by how loud he slammed his car door. The brothers exchanged a look. Dean took a hand off his controller to give Sam's shoulder a squeeze. But Sam could sense the anxiety stirring underneath the surface, and put down his controller to sign.  
""It'll be okay. We got this.""  
Dean smiled.  
""Course we do.""

 

John appeared in the doorway of the living room after the slam of the door.  
"Where's your boyfriend?" he sneered.  
Dean sighed.  
""He's not my boyfriend dad.""  
"That's not how it looks."  
""Well, what you see is wrong.""  
"I'm not wrong. You're wrong. Your existence is wrong."  
Dean and Sam gaped. John continued, slowly approaching Dean.

 

"You make me sick. It's not right for a boy to like another boy, and it's not right for a person to not be able to talk. Think of natural selection. You really think you can make it in the world? How can you be independent when you can't talk? I sure as hell hope you don't have any plans on moving out and finding a job. Cause that aint gonna fucking happen. You hear me? You're a disabled queer-"  
"Shut up!"  
Sam shoved John out of the way, not sure what his father would do once he was in Dean's face.  
Bad idea.  
John's expression turned stone cold. But his eyes, his eyes were lit with an anger that never turned out well for anyone. The boys had never seen something so terrifying. John threw his fist back.  
"Show some respect!" he shouted, before bringing it around.  
Dean dove off the couch and pushed Sam out of the way. Just in time for John's fist to collide with Dean's jaw. Dean wheezed in pain, dropping to the floor in an instant.  
"Dean!" Sam cried.  
His yell was matched with Mary's, who came in at John's shout. Johns eyes widened, but then he nodded his head and said, "Good. Better you than Sam." Sam and Mary rushed to Dean's side. There were tears streaming down his face, (Sam didn't think it was just from the pain.) and his left jaw was already black and blue and purple. Mary carefully caressed her son's face, causing him to flinch. She whipped her head around, staring John down with a glare as terrifying as his.  
"Come on baby, let's go look at that in the bathroom."  
Mary led Dean out the living room, Sam trailing close behind.

 

After painful examination Mary concluded Dean was fine, it was just a bad bruise. They walked back to the front of the house to find that John left. Mary didn't say anything about it, so the boys didn't either. They sat down to dinner, which turned out to be a pitiful affair. Dean had a hard time eating-it was painful to eat, and Sam and Mary were too sad watching him to manage to make conversation. After eating half of his food, Dean gave up and went to bed.

 

Den didn't cry himself to sleep that night-he was too numb, but he did in the morning. His tears mingled with the shower's water, flowing freely down his face. The thrum of the water masked his cries, the choked sound of his sobs. Why? Why did his father hate him so much? Why was it that who he is so wrong? And he was ready to rip him a new one for going after Sammy. Even if Dad was glad he hit him instead. And what the hell was up with that too? Dean was scared. What would happen now that John did something like this? Would it continue? Shit, would his abuse evolve? Would this become a thing? Just what Dean needed something to add to his list of aliases. The Boy with Bruises.  
"Dean?" Mary said with a knock.  
"Yeah?" Dean croaked.  
"Breakfast hon."

 

People stared. Murmurs spread across the halls. Dean just kept his head down and walked, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him. He didn't even have it in him to be angry anymore. All he felt was that he was dead set in the center of a void. His dad hated him, his peers hated him, and Dad was right. How exactly was he planning on making it out in the world when he couldn't talk? What was the point of dealing with all this shit?

 

He dreaded lunch. Cas was going to have a fit. He just knew he would make a big scene of it all, blow the whole drawn-out situation out of proportion. Dean sighed in his seat and made the mistake of leaning his head on his hand. He flinched violently. He just wished he was home in bed. Sleeping right now would be ideal. But all that would manage to do is worry his mother more than she already was.

 

Lunch came quickly, which Dean had mixed feelings about. On one hand, the day was that much closer to ending and he'd see Cas; on the other hand, he'd see Cas. He was too deep in thought to notice Cas came in at first. That is, until Cas noticed his face.  
"Ohmygod, Dean, what happened?"  
"That's what I said."  
Ms. Bradbury's comment went unnoticed by the worried boy. Dean tried to wave Cas off, literally, but he just wouldn't stop fussing over him. Cas touched Dean's jaw, causing him to flinch away, and Cas yanked his hand back like he'd been burned. Cas looked like he was about to cry.  
"Why are you hurt so badly?"  
Dean sighed and took out his notebook.  
"It was my dad okay. Sam got mad at how he was talking to me, and he pushed him in the heat of the moment. Dad retaliated, and I got in the way. Purposefully. Better me than Sam though. Dad just so happens to agree."  
Cas attacked Dean with a hug.  
"I'm so sorry Dean," he said into his neck.  
Dean returned it, resting his good jaw on Cas' shoulder.  
"Thanks buddy."

 

That evening, Dean would learn, would end in disaster. A storm was coming, and the Winchester household was the start of it. Dean should have known better than to disregard Cas' behavior. He was off ever since they pulled away from each other, almost like something was stirring under the surface. They both pulled away, blushing, shy smiles on their faces for reasons the other didn't understand. But once they got over it and returned to their usual lunch routine something shifted. Cas was like this on the way home, and while they were doing work before dinner. He was distracted, his answers short, his tone stiff. Dean had to be honest here. He was freaking out. He wasn't sure if it was because of the hug or not. Was Cas regretting it? Did it make him feel awkward? But he seemed so pleased in an embarrassed way. It was cute as hell. But that's not the point. The point is how Cas acted afterward. More importantly, how he would act when it came time for dinner.

 

Cas was charging to the door as soon as they heard John come in. Dean was confused, wary. What the hell was Cas doing shooting for the door when his father got home?  
"What's up with you?"  
Realization dawned on him, his mouth forming an O. Holy fuck.  
Dean was on his feet before he even realized what he was doing. Cas was already shouting.  
"You know, you have some nerve, treating your sons the way you do! What the hell makes you think it's okay to raise your hand against Sam like that? And to find it alright to claim you're glad it was Dean who got hit instead? Do you not see how much pain you put him through? How much your words and your actions hurt him? You’re his father, you're supposed to show him love and support! Not cold hearted words and your fists!"  
John was deeply red in the face. Clearly he was angry, but he was in too much shock to speak. He'd just never seen a kid yell at someone else's parents. It just wasn't done. He knew this Cas was trouble.

 

Dean put a hand on his shoulder to try to quiet Cas. He turned his head toward Dean.  
"No Dean! I won't stop! He deserves to hear this!"  
Cas turned back to John.  
"Why are you such an ass? What happened that caused you to be such a god damned bastard? Did someone steal your candy as a baby? Were you just conditioned to be such a bitch to your kids?"

 

Dean frantically took out his phone. There were tears in his eyes from anger, fear, and hurt. How could Cas insult someone from his family? Yeah, it was his dad, and sure, he pretty much hated him, but he was still family. That had to count for something. So he still wants his dad to be his dad, shoot him. Cas had no right to treat his family this way. And the consequences Dean would face from this…Dean shook at the thought. He put his hand on Cas' shoulder again, causing Cas to bring his head around.  
"Cas, please."  
Cas got a look at the look on Dean's face, and the anger faded from his eyes.  
"Dean…"  
Dean shook his head slowly, and set to typing again, his hands shaking.  
"You can't do that Cas! You can't yell at my father like that!"  
"But Dean."  
"No, Cas. I think you should leave."  
Cas looked on at Dean sorrowfully. After a moment he looked down in shame.  
"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know."  
"Yeah, well, you don't know a lot of things. Doing that was not okay. I'm really upset with you. So please go, I don't want to see you right now."  
Now Cas looked like he wanted to cry too.  
"I'm sorry."  
With that Cas ran to get his bag, then pushed by John and left. They watched him leave. John turned back to Dean and he went cold. He started to back up, signing as he went.  
""I'm sorry dad. I don't know what got into him. He was just so angry about my face""  
John advanced toward him. Why? Dean thought. Why did Mom and Sam have to run out to grab something for dinner?  
"Your face? He knows about what happened to your face?" John shouted. "Who is this boy, who thinks he can butt into our lives, and come and attack me in my own home?"  
""Dad.""  
"Don't 'Dad' me."  
John punched Dean in the gut. Hard. He went down fast.

 

Mary and Sam came in the still open door. When they saw the scene before them their anger was added to the mix. Sam immediately went to Dean's side. Mary closed the door.  
"What is going on here?" she yelled.  
Dean didn't say. John didn't either. Mary gave John a look.  
"This has gotten old, John."  
She went over to her boys and she and Sam helped Dean up and to his room.

 

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked when they sat down.  
Fresh tears welled up in Dean's eyes.  
""He left."  
"Why?"  
""I told him to.""  
"Why are you upset by that hon?"  
""Because he yelled at Dad. Because he attacked my family. So I made him leave. And he won't ever come back.""  
Dean put his head in his hands and cried.

Meanwhile Cas was outside his own house after running home, sat on the curb. He yelled at Dean's dad, and Dean was so mad at him for it. He'd never want to see him again.  
Cas put his head in his hands and cried.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

Dean laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Today would be weird without seeing Cas. But he was too angry with him. No way would he see him. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss him already. His wallowing was suddenly interrupted by his phone. Dean picked it up reluctantly. It was Cas, just like he knew it would be. But it was the message that surprised him.  
"I won't come to the office, so you don't have to worry about lunch."  
To be honest, Dean was hurt. Cas wasn't trying to patch things up. Of course, he made sure to be explicit in explaining he was mad. God, he even made a quip at him about not understanding things. He shouldn't have done that; that was taking things too far. Dean sighed. He was really hating himself right now.

 

When Dean came into the kitchen Sam stared at him with pity in his eyes. Dean scowled.  
""Quit it with the pity.""  
Sam frowned.  
"I'm just concerned for you Dean."  
""Yeah, well stop.""  
Mary cut in, putting their plates on the table.  
"We're your family, we're supposed to worry."  
""Dad doesn't.""  
"Don't bring up your father," Mary said angrily.  
Dean and Sam exchanged a look.

 

When Dean comes into the office and Cas doesn't show up within the next couple minutes Ms. Bradbury turns to Dean.  
"Where's Cas?"  
Dean's expression immediately falls. He takes out his notebook and writes in it in big letters to make sure she can see.  
"He's not coming."  
"Why not?"  
Dean's hand clenches around his pen.  
"He just isn't, okay?"  
"Why not, is he sick?"  
"No, he's not sick."  
"The how come?"  
"We got in a fight alright!"  
"Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?"  
"We got in a fight."  
"Yeah, but why?"  
Dean sighed. He stayed silent for a long time before he replied, catching Ms. Bradbury's attention by wadding up paper and throwing it at her.  
"He yelled at my dad."  
"For?"  
Dean gestured to his face. Charlie's eyes widened.  
"That's from your father?"  
Dean looked down and nodded.  
"Oh my god, Dean, I'm so sorry."  
"Thanks."  
"Why did he do it?"  
Dean bit his lip.  
"Cause he hates me."  
"Why?"  
"You're just full of questions."  
"Don't deflect."  
"Fine. To him I'm an embarrassment. I'm mute and queer."  
"Why the hell does that matter?"  
"Beats me."  
Dean glanced at the clock. Ms. Bradbury looked too."  
"You better get going."  
Dean nodded and packed up his stuff. All his food went into the trashcan.

 

John was grabbing beer from the fridge when Dean walked in to get a glass of water. He turns to Dean and smirks.  
"Hey look, my disappointment of a son emerges from his room. You still sulking over your boyfriend? Oh wait, ex now right? My bad."  
Dean keeps his head down and walks out.  
He doesn't sleep, his head too full of Cas.

 

Benny frowns as soon as he sees Dean. He's got bags under his eyes and a dead expression on his face. He walks back into the kitchen to fetch him coffee without a word.  
"Hey Dean," Benny says as Dean walks away.  
Dean turns around.  
"Take care of yourself, alright."  
Dean's hold on his backpack strap tightens. With all the shit he was dealing with, that probably wasn't going to happen. He nodded anyway.

 

Once again Dean doesn't eat. To avoid Ms. Bradbury and the sad looks he would probably get, he spent lunch in the library. He figured he might as well get the homework he'd been assigned finished. That way he would have more time to wallow.

 

When Dean arrives at the car he sees Sam has a determined look on his face. For some reason Jess is nowhere in sight.  
""What? You're giving me a weird look.""  
"I think you should talk to Cas."  
""I'm not having this conversation Sam.""  
Dean got into the car.  
"You're a mess Dean. You're barely eating at home, you won't leave your room, and I'm sure you aren't eating at all in school."  
Dean pulled out of their spot.  
"I know you're mad at what he did, but you're a wreck, and I'm sure he's an even bigger one. Look, he was only thinking of you when he did whatever it was. And why won't you tell us what happened? Let us help you. Let us knock some sense into you."  
Dean's grip on the wheel tightened. Sam noticed, and took it as a command to shut up. He complied.

 

Sam managed to coax Dean into playing video games with him when they got home. And for a moment things were like before; the two of them trying to kick each other's ass. Things were fun, normal (Dean was burying his feelings in video games), then John got home. They continued to play, but their shoulders were hunched, ready to face whatever was thrown at them. But nothing came. When John saw them in the living room he grabbed his beer and took it upstairs. The brothers looked at each other.  
"Weird," Sam said.  
""I'll say.""

 

Dean's curiosity at John's behavior had him momentarily distracted that evening. Enough so that he attempted to join in on conversation during dinner. Except that proved to be a little difficult, as John was participating as well. And see he-clearly-was ignoring Dean today. Anytime Dean would sign, John would talk over him, commanding the other's attention, therefor leaving Dean out. And when Sam or Mary would try to include Dean and pay attention to what he was signing John would intervene. He'd say things like, "Mary please, I'm talking," and "Sam you need to listen to me when I talk". It left Dean feeling mildly insulted. He would have felt it more so if he had the energy. The night left Dean to go to bed feeling bitter. But the idea of sleep was cut short when Dean woke up with a nightmare fresh in his head and a growling stomach. (Evidence that he didn't eat much)

 

The nightmare was awful. His dad was about to punch his lights out, but then his point of view shifted, and he was watching on in horror as John beat the shit out of Cas. All the while he was screaming.  
"How could you do this? How could you let this happen? I care about you! All I wanted to do was help you! And this is how you repay me? I thought I was your friend!"  
Dean shook at the hurt in Cas' voice, and the sheer poison of his words. He ruined the best friendship he ever had. And for what? His deadbeat dad that didn't give a flying fuck about him? What the hell?

 

Dean couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep, too scared to have the same or a different nightmare, and too busy wallowing. So when morning came he stayed in bed, buried under his covers. And when Mary knocked on the door trying to rouse him he didn't say anything. She lingered in front of his door before he heard her walk away.

 

The next time someone was at his door it was Sam letting himself in. Dean peaked his head out at the sound of his door being opened, and Sam walked over and sat on his bed.  
"You're not coming to school?"  
Dean shook his head.  
"Is it because of Cas?"  
Dean didn't say anything. Sam sighed.  
"I better go. Don't want to make Mom stray from her schedule too long."  
Sam walked out, but stopped in the doorway.  
"You should talk to him."  
With a pained look on his face Dean retracted his head.

 

It was around dinner time that Dean woke up from a nap. He figured out why when he looked up to see John standing in the doorway.  
"What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded. "You're supposed to go to school. Quit being such a little bitch about losing your boyfriend and suck it up. You deserved it anyway. You think you deserve to have a good life being the way you are? Wrong."  
Mary showed up behind him.  
"John, I swear if you don't leave my boy alone there will be consequences."  
John scoffed at her and waited for her to move out of the way before leaving.  
"Where are you going?" she called when she saw him make his way to the door.  
"I'm eating out tonight.

 

When Dean wakes up the next morning he finds he's not alone. His mom his sitting on his bed side, looking at him sadly. He sits up, confused.  
""Mom?"'  
"Dean…"  
Her tone gives away what she's about to say.  
""Please don't Mom. Just, please.""  
She just sits there and looks at him with a sad expression on her face before she finally says, "Okay".

 

The day just gets weirder when Dean finally ventures out to the kitchen and runs into John. What the hell was he doing home in the afternoon? Dean takes a glance at the clock. Sammy should be home soon. He'll be in for a shock.  
""Where's Mom? Why are you here.""  
"What," he sneers. "You don't want me to be?"  
Dean's hunger-which has him out of sorts since he hasn't eaten all day-causes him say something he shouldn't.  
""Yes, actually.""  
"Don't disrespect me."  
""How can I not when I don't respect you? I don't know why you expect me to when you treat me like shit.""  
One moment John is at the table, the next he's in front of Dean, pushing him to the ground. Dean hits his head on the fridge, his eyes closing involuntarily. He sees John advancing toward him when his eyes open, and he hears Mary shout.  
"John stop."  
"Why should I?" John shouts back. "He's a disgrace. I should kill him."  
He turns back to Dean.  
"You're worthless, an embarrassment. I wish we never had you. The world would be better off without your sorry ass."  
There are tears in Dean's eyes, and now it's not just because of the pain. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand staying in this godforsaken house, and there was only one place he knew he could go. Holding his head Dean walked to his room. Sam followed, and found him throwing clothes into a duffle, and his scattered books into his backpack. When he could finally move he put his hand on Dean's just as he was putting his phone charger in the duffle's pocket with his laptop charger. Now Sam had tears in his eyes.  
"Please stay Dean."  
Dean sighed deeply and turned around. It exposed the tears that wouldn't stop streaming down his cheeks.  
"I can't Sammy. You know I can't. It's too much."  
Dean gave the now crying Sam a hug then grabbed his bags and walked out. (Not before giving Mary a hug first.)  
"Dean, no!" she called.  
She tried her hardest not to cry in front of Sam, but to no avail. Sam put an arm around her. Suddenly she broke away and went upstairs, returning shortly. She hands the divorce papers to John without a word.

 

Dean hesitated at the door. Who knew if he'd even accept Dean into his home. Dean was making a big gamble here. Dean quickly knocked before Dean could talk himself out of it. He answered the door, and looked Dean over, taking in the bags, the tears that wouldn't cease, the hand on his head, and Cas launched himself at his best friend.  
"I'm sorry," he cried.  
Dean shook his head and pulled away, handing Cas his phone.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry. You were only trying to help me. I'm sorry. I know you only had my best interests in mind. I'm sorry. I've been a complete wreck since that night. I'm sorry. Please let us still be friends. I'm sorry. I need you. I'm so, so, sorry. Could you find it in yourself to forgive me?"  
Cas wrapped his arms around Dean again, burying his face in his neck, making it wet. For a moment they just stood there sobbing into each other's shoulders.

 

Finally Cas pulled away and grabbed Dean's hand.  
"Come in."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I discovered this beautiful piece of music that reminded me of Dean in this story so much that I just had to find a way to incorporate it into the story. So you get a Piano playing Dean. Have fun imagining him playing it. When I imagined it I felt so moved :3  
> Nuvole Bianche-Ludovico Einaudi  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcihcYEOeic

The first thing Dean saw when he walked into Cas' house was the beautiful grand piano in the living room. As quickly as he could, he toed off his shoes and all but ran to it. He looked like a sad puppy begging for a treat when he looked to Cas to ask if he could play it. Cas nodded yes, and Dean actually did a little hop in excitement. (After all, he'd never played a grand piano.) He surprised himself and Cas at his sudden shift in mood. Dean figured the minimal depression was just a temporary shift at being back with Cas, and would eventually fade and it would finally hit him that he ran away from home.

 

It was when Dean played-he would later be able to pinpoint-Cas began the wild descent of falling in love with him. He moved as if the music was flowing from his very soul. His fingers danced beautifully across the ivory. Cas had never seen something so elegant. He'd never been captivated by something the way he was now. To think the gruff Dean Winchester could be like-like this.

 

While he was openly gawking Castiel's brothers stepped in.  
"You're jaw's on the floor Cassie," Gabriel whispered.  
"No it's not," Cas said absently.  
Michael sighed. "He didn't mean it literally."  
Castiel didn't respond to Michael's quip.  
"He's amazing."  
"Yeah he is," Gabriel agreed.  
"Mother would be pleased."  
They all shared a grin.

 

When Dean finished and realized he had an audience he blushed.  
"Excellent job," Michael praised.  
Gabriel grinned.  
"You're like Mozart or something."  
"That was amazing Dean."  
Dean ducked his head, then lifted it back up and smiled.  
Cas translated. "Dean expresses his thanks."  
"And he can't say this himself?"  
Dean cringed.  
"Mike," Gabe warned. "I promise he isn't always an ass."  
Dean opened his mouth and pointed to it, then shook his head.  
"I don't think he can talk."  
"I apologize."  
Dean smiled and shook his head.  
"We'll leave you guys to-whatever it is you get up to. But nothing inappropriate!"  
"Gabe!"  
With that Gabriel and Michael left.

 

Cas walked over to squish up next to Dean on the bench and handed him his phone.  
"If you can play like this then why don't you have a piano in your house?"  
"I'll give you one guess."  
"Your dad?"  
"Bingo. Too gay."  
Cas shook his head.  
"So how do you know how to play so well?"  
"Music teacher saw me eying the piano in first grade. I've been allowed to use the school's pianos ever since. With complimentary lessons of course. The typical disabled kid bonus. Ya know, the I feel sorry for you so I'm gonna treat you special gig."  
"Ah, yes I've had the treatment once or twice."  
Dean sighed wistfully. "It's nice to finally have a friend who understands. It's nice to have a friend period."  
He bit his lip before continuing.  
"I really am sorry for spazing out on you. I know you were just trying to look out for me."  
"Look at you bringing on a chick flick moment."  
"Yeah, well you just ruined it."  
Cas laughed.  
"I appreciate it Dean. And I understand. Suddenly you've got someone trying to butt into your life and put you in uncomfortable situations. And I'm just talking about when I do it on purpose."  
Dean laughed.  
"Thanks Cas."  
"For what?"  
"For just-being you. For being here."  
Castiel bumped Dean's shoulder. "Anytime Dean."

 

Cas made sure to give Dean a tour of the whole house so he knew where everything was. This included hall closets and every cabinet in the kitchen. Dean found it silly and cute, but felt grateful for his thoroughness all the same. The last stop was the guest room, where Dean could finally put down his bags. Cas went over to his room to give Dean some time to unpack his things. Unfortunately he only got partway through, as in the middle of his task it finally hit him just exactly what he had done.

 

When Cas came back he found Dean sitting on the bed, head in his hands and his shoulders shaking, his body wracked with silent sobs. Cas sat down next to him and put his arm around Dean, laying his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Dean. You can stay as long as need. I know my mom won't mind."  
Dean nodded his head in thanks with a sniff, and put his arms around Cas.

 

Some time later they heard the front door open and close. Cas sat up and Dean followed suit. (The pair ended up laying down next each other on the bed, their hands touching, after their hug.)  
"That's my mom. We should go down and talk to her."  
Without another word Cas took Dean by the hand and led him downstairs.

 

"Welcome home mom," Cas greeted when they met her in the hallway.  
Mrs. Novak smiled.  
"Where's your father?" she asked.  
"He went out for an errand."  
She nodded.  
"And who is this? He doesn't happen to be your friend Dean by any chance? Am I finally being graced with the chance to meet him?"  
What she said would have sounded accusatory if it hadn't been for her smile.  
"Yes, this is Dean. Is it okay if he stays with us for a little? He's having some trouble at home."  
"I'm sorry to hear that Dean. Well if that's the case you can stay as long as you need."  
Dean smiled at her.  
"He says thank you."  
"Anyone precious to Castiel is precious to me."  
Dean blushed. Cas as well. He cleared his throat.  
"Anyway, we're gonna go down to the basement."  
Cas took Dean's hand again and lead him down to their rec room.

 

Both Gabriel and Michael were in the basement too. They were engaged in what seemed like a serious game of chess.  
"Oh boy," Cas said.  
Dean looked at him questioningly. Cas sighed.  
"Their games of chess are always very tense and full of lots of cursing."  
Dean wrote something in his phone and held it out to Cas with a grin. (Cas guessed he was going to mask his pain since it wasn't just the two of them.)  
"Sounds awesome."  
Cas rolled his eyes.  
"You would think so. Care to watch?"  
"Hell yes!"  
Just then Michael shouted "fuck!". Dean had to admit, he didn't think he had it in him. Maybe Michael actually was mostly chill. Gabriel was sitting on the floor between the table and the couch and Michael was on the other side. Cas sat behind Gabriel, leaving just enough space for Dean to sit right next to him. He looked over at Dean to see his face fall for a second. Cas squeezed his hand, and Dean gave him a small smile. Then Cas put his head on Dean's shoulder. Michael noticed, and gave Cas a knowing smile, causing him to hide his face in Dean's neck in embarrassment. That of course just made it worse, although Cas didn't know that. He stopped hiding and turned his face when he heard Gabriel shout "No, damn it!" and felt Dean laugh. It seemed Michael was close to winning, but Cas new to never underestimate Gabe.

 

When Gabriel won Dean was taken aback, and thanks to his body language it showed. And jostled Cas slightly. He chuckled.  
"Don't underestimate Gabe."  
Gabriel turned around, grinning. Seeing Dean and Cas gave him pause, then his grin widened.  
"That's right! I'm a lot more competent than people think."  
He pouted.  
"I don't know why people don't think so."  
Michael chimed in.  
"It's because of your personality."  
"Should I take offense to that? I'm taking offense to that."  
Cas laughed. Dean loved his laugh.

 

After that, Cas turned on the television and pulled up Netflix. Michael and Gabriel left, having finished their game and having things to do. When they were out of sight Dean let his guard down. He moved a little so Cas would lift his head, then he put his on Cas' shoulder, wrapping his arms around Cas'. Cas laid his head on top of Dean's. Dean was so happy he had someone he could be touchy feely with. Anyone else would find it weird. Not just because that's not how Dean acted, but also because people didn't really do that unless they were teenage girls or in a relationship.

 

They stayed like that, watching episode after episode of Jessica Jones until they were called up for dinner. Reluctantly Dean got up. He just stood there after Cas got up, so Cas took his hand and led him up the stairs. Dean pulled his hand away then put it back in Cas' hand in a more comfortable position. (He might as well indulge himself, take advantage of Cas' mannerisms. He could pretend they were a couple, and that nothing went to shit. Little did he know that Cas was thinking just about the same thing.)

 

Dinner makes Dean feel awkward. Not only is he having dinner in a house that isn't his, and with people he doesn't know, he also can't participate in the conversation. So he spends dinner picking at his plate while the Novak family delves into occasional conversation. He's pushing around his peas when Mr. Novak addresses him.  
"So Dean, I hear you're really good at piano."  
Mrs. Novak perks up in interest. Dean panics. He couldn't communicate with these people. He wished Sam was there. He was taken out of his panic when Cas nudged his foot with his own.  
"Your phone," Cas whispered.  
Dean took out his phone and wrote a reply to Mr. Novak. Cas took it from him when he was done.  
"Dean says: I wouldn’t say I'm that good, but yeah, I play."  
"He's being modest," Gabriel says.  
"He's an excellent pianist," Michael adds.  
Dean rubbed his neck awkwardly at all the compliments.  
"They're right Dean," Cas says quietly. "I was entranced."  
Dean looks up, a question in his expression.  
"Yeah, I really was."  
He smiles, and Cas returns it. A teasing "Aw" comes from Gabriel, and Cas turns around and throws a piece of bread at him.  
"Hey!" Gabriel shouts indignantly.  
Michael laughs, Mr. Novak tries to cover up his, and Mrs. Novak scolds him.  
"Castiel, don't throw your food!"  
"But Mom!"  
"No, that is not how you behave at the dinner table."  
"But Gabe-"  
"I know what Gabriel did, but that does not call for bread ammo."  
Cas looks over to see Dean shaking with laughter.  
"Hey, quit laughing at my expense!"  
Dean takes back his phone  
"You brought it on yourself. I can't believe you threw bread at him XD."  
Cas sighs, but then he smirks.  
"Lammo emoticon user."  
Dean scoffs.  
"Well excuse you Mr. I'm so cutesy I use an emoticon in every message I send."  
Cas grins.  
"So I'm cute?"  
Dean's face instantly turns red.  
"That's not what I meant!"  
"It is totally what you meant, Dean Winchester."  
For lack of anything to say Dean retaliates with "Shut up!".  
"I'd love to hear the other half of this conversation," Gabe says with a chuckle.

 

When dinner is over, Cas and Dean go up to Cas' room to do their homework. They lay down on their stomachs on the floor, their books in front of them and the notebook between them.  
"By the way, my brothers and I take our showers at night."  
"Well that works out. I take mine in the morning."  
"Do you need any toiletries?"  
"No, I thought of bringing them."  
"That's good."

 

When Cas goes back to his room after his shower he finds Dean on his bed. He taps Dean on the shoulder, and Dean looks over. He takes in Cas wearing his pajamas for a moment. He looks so domestic in his plaid pants and black shirt with his towel-dried hair. His crazy hair makes him look so cute.(It's funny that they're wearing the same thing-save for the color of the plaid.) Cas breaks Dean out of his pinning.  
"Is something the matter Dean?"  
Dean picked up his phone. When he finished typing he held it up.  
"That room felt too empty."  
"But you have your own room."  
"Yeah, in my house. This isn't my house, and I don't know anyone but you in this house."  
Dean put his arm down, typed something else, then hesitated before putting it back up.  
"It's intimidating."  
Cas isn't sure what to say, so he just sits down on his bed and puts his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean hands him his phone.  
"Sam texted me while you were in the shower. He told me my mom is divorcing my dad. Said after I left she just handed him the papers without a word."  
"Wow. I don't know what to say to that Dean. I mean, it must be awful for your mom, and I'm sure it brings up mixed feelings for you and Sam."  
"And you're honestly happy about it aren't you?"  
Cas sighed.  
"Yeah. So are you going to go back home tomorrow?"  
"No. Not until he's out of the house."  
"Okay…Get up for a second. And get your phone cord."  
Dean was confused, but he did what Cas said. When he came back the covers were pushed back.  
"There's an open socket behind my night stand."  
Dean plugged in his phone and set it down next to Cas'.  
"Come on."  
Cas got in bed and shifted over to the far side. Now Dean was really confused.  
"You didn't want to be alone right?"  
Dean nodded.  
"So come on then."  
Dean pointed to the extra space on the bed.  
"Yes, there."  
Slowly Dean climbed in next to Cas. Cas rolled his eyes.  
"You're so dramatic Dean. Do you want to share a bed or not?"  
Dean turned onto his side, away from Cas. He did nothing else. Cas scooted closer and put an arm over him. Dean let himself lean back into Cas. He fell asleep with a warmth at his back and a strong sense of being home.

 

Waking up in Cas' arms could have been the best feeling in the world. Cas groaned a the sound of Dean's alarm. Dean was about to apologize, but then Cas' went off. He turned off Cas' for him too. Dean sat up but Cas just curled into himself with another groan. Dean thought something was wrong until he whined, "No," drawing out the 'O'. Dean shook his head. It seemed Cas wasn't a morning person. He typed in and handed Cas his phone. Cas opened his eyes to look, but he grumbled about it.  
"Come on Cas. Time to wake up Sleeping Beauty."

"I don't wanna."

"But you gotta. Face the morning."

"The morning sucks."  
"I know, but you've got to get up and get ready for school."  
Cas whined.  
"Tell you what. I'm gonna go take a shower, and when I get back you have to get up."  
"Fine. Meany."  
"I know what you are but what am I?"  
Cas laughed. Dean mused his hair affectionately before walking out.

 

When he got back Cas was still in bed, but he sat up when Dean came in. He walked in the door, putting on his shirt. Cas blushed at the sight of Dean's torso. Dean grabbed his phone.  
"Awesome, you're sitting up. Now you just gotta get up and dressed."  
Cas sighed.  
"Please, for me."  
Cas sighed again, but he got up all the same. Dean smiled and grabbed his charger.  
"You get changed. I'll be in my room."

 

Dean was on his way to the office when he heard Sam call for him from behind. He turned around, a smile on his face. As glad as he was to be out of the house, he missed Sammy and Mom. They shared a hug, and when Sam pulled back his eyes were wide and bright.  
"I still can't believe that happened after you left."  
""What?""  
"So as soon as you left Mom went upstairs and came back down with papers in her hand. She handed them to Dad without a word. And you know what they were? Divorce papers. She's doing it Dean. She's kicking him out. You can come back home. I told you this already. Did you forget?"  
Dean's eyes widened.  
""Sorry. Yeah, I do, It's just so shocking it’s all a little fuzzy."  
He had some mixed feelings about this. On one hand, Dad was awful to all of them and it would be good for them to be rid of him. But on the other hand he was still Mom's spouse, and he felt bad for her. She must have been torn making the decision. All the same once he left they wouldn't have to deal with that asshole ever again.  
""Wow. That's amazing. Go Mom.""  
"Right? Now you can come home."  
""Sam…""  
Sam's expression fell.  
"What?"  
""I can't come home. Not until he's out of the house.""  
"Oh."  
""I'm sorry Sammy, but you know how problematic it would be. I promise as soon as he's gone I'll come back home. Just tell Mom what I said. She'll make sure he leaves real quick. That way I won't be gone long.""  
Sam sighed forlornly.  
"Okay. Are you staying with Cas? Is everything okay between you two?"  
""Yes, I'm staying with him. And everything's fine.""  
"That's good. I better go. I'll see you soon?"  
""Soon.""  
Sam nodded and walked away. He was watching Sam go when he heard Cas behind him.  
"Ready to go to the office Dean?"  
Dean turned around and nodded.

 

Ms. Bradbury is filled with relief when she sees Dean and Cas come into the office together.  
"Oh good, you're both here. Dean had a mean sulk going on when you were gone Cas."  
Cas looked over at Dean, and Dean quickly looked away in embarrassment.

 

Cas plops down next to Dean on the rec room's couch, jostling the popcorn, and Dean quickly reaches out to take it before it spills. He puts it down between them, and Cas hands him his root beer. The movie Cas picks for them to watch is The Breakfast Club, which Dean is skeptical about. How can a movie be good when the title is comprised of two things that have nothing in the realm of sanity to do with each other? At Dean's look Cas chuckles.  
"Trust me. It's good."  
Dean shrugs, and Cas presses play.

 

Throughout the movie the boys slowly drift closer to each other. First the popcorn moves, getting set aside on the table. Then they start to lean into each other, and Dean's hand eventually ends up on Cas' knee. Finally Cas curls into Dean's side, his folded legs leaning into Dean's lap, his head tucked onto his shoulder. Dean goes with it and puts his arm around Cas' shoulders. And this is how they fall asleep when the credits roll.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Winchester lived a quiet life. An ordinary life. He lived with his family, went to school. But he didn’t have any friends. After all, who wants to hang out with someone that can’t talk? New student Castiel does. And once Cas comes into his life, maybe it’s still ordinary, but at least now it’s fun

When Cas enters the basement he finds Dean and Gabriel waiting for a game to load. Dean shifts his position, going from hunched over to leaning back, his arms splayed to his sides while he waits. Cas sees his opening, and walks over and plops down onto Dean's lap. Dean looks surprised, and Gabriel laughs a little at the look on his face.  
"Yeah, Cas loves laps. His spirit animal is totally a cat."  
Dean put down his controller and picked up, typed in, and handed Gabriel his phone.  
"I can definitely see that."  
Gabriel chuckled.  
"I'll bet you've had many instances that prove it," Gabriel murmured.  
Dean cocked his head, not having heard him.  
"Nothing."  
Dean scrunched his eyebrows together but didn't push. Gabriel still had his phone, so he tapped Cas' shoulder and pointed at it. Cas leaned over and took it back for when Dean would need it again.

 

After that they started, and Gabriel got the pleasure of watching Dean play, which was very entertaining. Even more so since Dean couldn't move much with Cas sitting on him. He's learned that Dean relies on body movements and language, and facial expressions to communicate. Problem was, sometimes it was hard to understand. The only person in the house that understood him completely was Cas. That was something Gabe marveled at. You had to have quite a bond with someone to understand them that completely. God they were so gay for each other. Too bad they couldn't see the other one was interested. If only someone would just make the first move.

 

When Dean's alarm went off he shifted to his other side and burrowed into Cas' chest. Next Cas' went off and he expressed his displeasure with a grunt.  
"Dean can you turn those off?"  
Dean didn't move.  
"Oh come on, please Dean?"  
Still didn't budge.  
"Dean," Cas whined.  
Dean finally did something: he shook his head. With a huff Cas leaned over him and turned both their alarms off. He flopped back down onto the bed, causing Dean to flail. It made Cas laugh, and Dean turned around to pout at his laughter. Cas scooted over and put an arm over him.  
"Don't be like that Dean," Cas joked. "You know you love my laugh. "  
Little did Cas know that the statement rang far too true. Dean shifted back to the other side, and their foreheads touched. They shared a smile.

 

Dean and Cas are passing Dean's phone back in forth in the hallway in front of the office when Sam suddenly appears in front of them.  
"Dean!"  
His eyes are bright.  
""Sammy!""  
"Dad left!"  
""He what?""  
"Yeah, he left. He got his own house. He collected his things this morning. You can come home!"  
Dean beamed and caught Sam up in a hug, lifting him a little off the ground.

 

Dean and Cas are sitting at the table in the Winchester's kitchen. They've got books and two notebooks between them this time. The happiness Dean glows with is so apparent Cas swears he can actually see bright light. Dean signed slowly.  
""I still can't believe you've been learning ASL this whole time.""  
Cas signed back slowly, his fingers fumbling.  
""The day I met you I went straight to the book store after I got home.""  
Dean smiled, feeling a little shy.  
""That's quite the gesture.""  
Cas' cheeks flushed.  
""Okay. I'm going to give you the sign for something now instead of individual letters. I use them sometimes.""  
Cas put his game face on. He watched Dean's fingers closely, then looked back up at Dean.  
""What did I just say?""  
Cas took some time to concentrate and broke out into a wide smile.  
"Best friends"  
Dean smiles back.

 

One night John comes over to the house drunk off his ass. Dean and Cas are on the couch watching Jimmy Fallon. Dean is sitting up with his legs crossed, and Cas is laying down using Dean's leg as a pillow. He's sleeping over, and it's late, so he's tired. When John comes over he's brimming with anger fueled by misery and resentment. And when he comes in and sees Dean and Cas he only feels worse, and completely loses it. Cas gets hauled to the side and John picks Dean up by the shirt collar. Dean grabs at his hands but John won't let go.  
"You ruin everything," he seethes. "You ruined my chance at having a normal family just by being born. You ruined my hopes of you possibly redeeming yourself by being queer. And then you make me lose my wife because you can't handle discipline."  
He glances over to Cas and back.  
"And him. You really think he likes you? You think he's going to stick around? News flash, he's not. You do realize this is all just because he pities you don't you? He doesn't actually like you. He finds you weird and worthless, just like all the other kids at school. You're poison; everybody's going to leave you Dean!"

 

Finally Mary and Sam are alerted to John's presence by his shout. They come running down the stairs and take in the scene before them. They see Cas cowering in the corner of the couch, tears in his eyes expressing his fear for Dean. They see John has Dean by the shirt front, and they see a crying Dean struggling to escape from his grip.  
"Get out!" Mary bellows.  
John doesn't budge, so together Mary and Sam and a shaky Cas work together to pry John apart from Dean. When John finally lets go, leaving Dean to drop back to the couch, Cas rushes to Dean and pulls him into his chest. Mary and Sam work together to push John out the door.  
"I swear to god John," Mary says. "If I ever see you around this house or my boys again, I will call the police. Now leave. And fuck you!"  
She gives him a final shove and slams the door.

 

Mary starts for Dean to check on him, but he's already retreating to his room. Cas gives her a nod before following. He finds Dean curled up on his bed, facing the wall, and walks to his bed and sits down.  
"You know he's wrong right? And that he was lying right?" Cas says quietly. "There's nothing wrong with being mute Dean. Or bisexual. And you didn't ruin his chance at a normal family life; he did. And it definitely wasn't your fault that your mom left him. That's all on him, and you know it. And the rest of that shit he said is so far beyond wrong. I do in fact like you. I'm definitely going to stick around, and I'll be damned if anyone or anything tries to stop me. I don't pity you. And fuck, you are so far from weird, worthless, or poison. You are wonderful, and you are bright. You are loving and kind. You-"  
""That stuff doesn't matter. What's the point if my own father doesn't accept who I am, doesn't care about me, doesn't love me? If he can't stand me what's to stop-mmph.""  
Cas pulled away, furious, keeping his hands on Dean's cheeks. Dean blinked, his budding paragraph of self-hate stopping in its tracks.  
"Damnit Dean! Just let yourself accept what I'm saying! You don't need him, you don't need his love. You have plenty of people that love you. Your mom loves you, Sam loves you, I love you!"  
Dean's brain shuts down. His eyes widen. His mouth opens and closes. He's reeling. He's shocked. Cas loves him. Cas kissed him. Fuck, Cas loves him! Cas' face starts to fall when Dean finally processes what he just said. His heart stutters. He flushes. A shy smiles slowly forms on his face. Cas' hands fall, and he releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. It hits Cas that he just confessed, and he blushes too. He gives Dean a shy smile as well, feeling awkward.  
""Really?" Dean pauses. "Cause if you're saying so then I might too."  
Cas says and signs at the same time, "I love you Dean, I really do."

 

Dean Winchester was not a man of many words. Actually, he wasn't a man of any words at all. When the phrase 'life is difficult', or any variation is stated, the term 'you have no idea' comes to mind. It comes with the territory of being mute, and living with an abusive father. But that's okay, because things are different now, and Dean is strong. He's been through rough times. He's been through fun times. He's felt pain and loss. He's felt love and joy. And he isn't alone. He has his mother-Mary, his brother-Sam, His husband-Cas, and his daughter-Claire, a loving and supportive family. He has all he could ask for and more. He stuck it out, and wonderful, precious things came out of it. So yes, life is difficult. But the thing is…it's worth it.


End file.
